How To: Dress yourself

I am SO proud! My little boy hit a huge milestone today - he practically dressed himself with only a little assistance from me! Here is how it went:

1. Spend most of the morning trying to get Toddler dressed
2. After a while of doing this change tactics
3. Ask Toddler if they can show me how to take off their PJ Top
4. Toddler smiles, undoes all the buttons and takes off his top
5. Ask Toddler to show me how to do take his nappy off
6. Toddler stands there and looks down at this nappy and after finding the tabs, removes it
7. Ask Toddler if they want to wear undies or a nappy today
8. Toddler chooses a nappy
9. Hand Toddler fresh nappy
10. Toddler lies down with legs up and says "Mum, Nappy on please!"
11. Praise Toddler for their good manners and assist them putting the nappy on
12. Hand Toddler a t-shirt and ask them to show me how they put a t-shirt on
13. Toddler say "T-shirt" and opens the t-shirt up from the bottom, puts it over his head and his right arm in the right hole
14. Toddler then tries to put his left arm in, but t-shirt is a little twisted
15. Toddler says "Mum, Help!" 
16. Smile and untwist t-shirt and praise Toddler for asking for help when they need it
17. Toddler then puts his left arm through the hole and sits down
18. Hand Toddler his shorts, and he puts a leg in each hole
19. Help Toddler stand up
20. Toddler pulls his pants up the front, but needs a little help getting the back part over his bum
21. Toddler smiles and says "Thank you Mum!" 
22. Smile back and reply "You're welcome Darling!"
23. Toddler then picks up the ties of his shorts and tries to tie a bow
24. After a little bit of struggling, he turns to me and says "Bow Mum!"
25. Show Toddler how to tie a boy (the two loops into a knot method)
26. Toddler watches the whole time with wide eyes
27. Toddler then sits down and puts his jandals on the wrong feet
28. Toddler looks at his feet and says "Help Mum! Wrong?"
29. Show Toddler my feet in Jandals and ask Toddler what is different to his jandals and mine
30. Toddler looks at my jandals then at his and says "Wrong Foot!"
31. Help Toddler take their jandals off
32. Toddler puts jandals onto correct feet and stands up "Come on Mum!"
33. Give Toddler a HUGE Hug and a couple of high fives and say "Yay! I'm so proud of you! You dressed yourself today" 
34. Toddler grins and replies "Yes Mum!" and walks out the room 

How To: Distract a Toddler from the marshmellows

1. Use a bag of frozen marshmallows for ouchies (works really well, as you give them one after they calm down)
2. Toddler has cottoned onto the idea that if he is hurt he will get a marshmallow 
3. Toddler ransacks the freezer on a daily basis to find said marshmallows
4. Today it happens again
5. Remind Toddler that the frozen marshmallows are for ouchies
6. Toddler throws themselves on the floor and cries "Ouch! It Hurts! Foot Sore!"
7. Try not to smile and tell Toddler that you know they aren't hurt
8. Toddler replies "Sore, sore foot" (this kid is either going to be a soccer player or an actor)
9. Put marshmallows away
10. Toddler tries to get marshmallows again
11. Get mesh feeder out, put piece of ice in it and give to Toddler
12. Toddler has forgotten about the marshmallows (for now...)

How To: Wash Monkey

1. Start making a ham and cheese bagel for lunch
2. Toddler comes over and wants Monkey to eat it
3. Monkey gets covered in mayo
4. Pick up Monkey and put into the washing machine (that has just started)
5. Toddler throws a tantrum that "My Monkey Wash!" 
6. Give Toddler spare Monkey
7. Toddler not having a bar of it
8. Spend next little while explaining to Toddler why Monkey needs a wash
9. Eventually Toddler calms down with a bottle and a spot of paw patrol
10. Sit down and eat Ham and Cheese Bagel for lunch while having a few moments peace

How To: Keep your cool when your Toddler gets into your craft stuff

1. Go to bed at midnight, due to working on blog and just having some "me" time
2. Neighbours across the road start running up and down the street yelling
3. Don't get to bed until 3am as Toddler won't settle because of idiots across the road... these are the same people who beep their horn at all hours of the day and night to get someone to move their car instead of getting out and asking them nicely. 
4. After constant trying to get Toddler to sleep in own bed, give up and let them sleep in my bed 
5. Spend next three hours getting kicked in the back and head and getting laughed at by Toddler
6. Eventually have enough, snap at Toddler and tell them they are going back in their own bed
7. Fall into bed and sleep until Toddler comes in at 7.30am
8. Get up, put telly on (as I know I really can't deal with making up games with Toddler)
9. Give Toddler breakfast, make own and have a coffee
10. Toddler finish coffee and turn telly off as Toddler playing with houses and heavy things on the wall
11. Toddler then runs into my bedroom and gets into craft things
12. Find Toddler trying to put craft items back into their jars, looking upset
13. Realise that Toddler is just as tired as I am and quietly help them put it back, praise them for helping put things back and acknowledge that it was an accident for it going everywhere
14. Take a deep breath and relax - another coffee and a nice shower shall help reset everything and writing this blog post will help too!

How To: Have a Haircut at the Hairdressers

Last night, I wasn't feeling very well.  So I went to bed early, leaving Hubby and Trusty Grandpa to put Toddler to bed. I managed to get a good sleep for the first time in ages, Toddler came in for a cuddle just after Hubby left for work and we slept in until 9am! This left us 45 minutes to get up, get dressed and have breakfast before we left for his haircut at 10am. We got there with time to spare, so instead of waiting at the hair dressers, I decided to get a coffee for me, and fluffy for Toddler to help him keep still while he had a hair cut. I also had a toy for him to play with to keep him busy. Below is the list of what happened in the hour from the moment we walked out the door to when we got home. Hope you enjoy our eventful hour!

1. Walk out the door and Toddler decides that we need to take his bucket with chalk, Toy Hoe and Toy Spade with us. 
2. Toddler puts the bucket in the boot of the car.
3. Put Toddler in car, and drive to the hair dresser
4. Get to HairDresser's 10 minutes early - decide to get coffee and fluffy for Toddler while waiting for hair cut
5. Walk into coffee shop and order a coffee for me and a fluffy for Toddler
6. While waiting for them to be made, Toddler decides to sit down at a table and play with his toy.
7. Two Ladies come in and start talking to Toddler and about how cute and well behaved is for waiting at the table for the coffee
8. One of the ladies picks up a "Coffee News" paper from the rack at the counter
9. Toddler decides they want one too
10. Toddler grabs ahold of the papers and brings the whole pile crashing down to the floor
11. Toddler says "Uh oh! Mess!" 
12. Help Toddler pick up the papers
13. The two ladies coo about how cute and helpful Toddler is
14. Toddler decides to explore the rest of the cafe opening cupboards and trying to get to the cakes and slices behind the glass
15. Ladies giggle and mention something about the terrible 2's 
16. Smile back, collect Toddler, Toddler's toy, drinks and make our way out the door and back to the hairdresser 
17. Get into the hairdresser and put drinks down
18. Toddler sits on the couch and wants their fluffy
19. Explain to Toddler that it's time to get their haircut and that they need to sit in the hairdressing chair (the hairdresser has put a booster seat up there for him so he can look in the mirror while it's getting done)
20. Toddler arches back and refuses to sit in the seat
21. Chase Toddler around the room for a bit with him zooming round like an airplane and laughing his head off (amusing the other ladies and hairdressers)
22. Catch Toddler and ask them what chair they want to sit in (there are three empty ones to choose from)
23. He chooses a chair and we sit him in it
24. Hairdresser moves all her equipment to the new chair and starts to cut his hair
25. Toddler decides that they don't want to sit there now and chooses another chair
26. Finally start the haircut with Toddler sitting on my lap, holding a spray bottle and a comb in each hand
27. Almost at the end of the haircut, Toddler has had enough and jumps down off my lap
28. End up finishing the haircut with Toddler playing in the washing up sink and the hairdressing tidying up around the ears while he's distracted
29. Strip t-shirt off Toddler and shake out over pile of hair
30. Toddler opens the door and runs outside
31. Run after Toddler and catch them before they run through the carpark
32. Kneel down to Toddler and give them a hug 
33. Pull Toddler away and tell them "Don't run away like that! You gave Mummy a fright!" Point out the cars that have now come into the car park "They cannot see you, if you ran over there they would have hit you and Mummy and Daddy would be very sad"
34. Toddler looks at the cars and nods "Ok Mum" (not sure if he really got it, but realises that I was scared)
35. Come back in and pay for hair appointment
36. Get in the car and drive home
37. On way home pass a camper van and see that there is a couple sitting there looking at the map (they are parked in a dodgy part in the area so pull over and ask them if they would like some help)
38. Explain to American Couple where they want to go for food shop and then show (just at the end of the road) and then show them on the map where the campsite is that they want to go)
39. Drive off and leave them too it
40. Stop at the train tracks as the barriers are down
41. Toddler: Go Mum, GO!
42. Me: I've got to stop, because there is a train coming *point out the flashing lights*
43. Toddler: A train?! Yay! Choo Choo!
44. Me: Yes, a train *Passenger train goes past and Toddler has a huge frown and confused look on his face*
45. Toddler: Mum. No, NOT Choo Choo Train
46. He then starts to call Daddy on his "palm phone" and tells him "It was NOT a Choo Choo Train Daddy!"
47. Have a giggle and get home
48. Toddler wants to get bucket out of the boot
49. Open boot
50. Toddler runs off with the bucket to the backyard
51. Catch up to Toddler (who is still shirtless) and find them trying to dig out the cactus plant (we had a few people over yesterday taking clippings off the prickly pear and Toddler wanted to help them)
52. Knowing that either me or Toddler would get prickles if I try to pick him up I call out that he needs to have a shirt, hat and sunscreen on if he wants to play outside
53. Sigh in relief as it works
54. Walk back inside and notice that we've only been out of the house for an hour

How To: Ignore your Toddler until they go to sleep (new bedtime routine!)

Tonight Toddler was playing up a little, and both my back and wrist have been sore, so I have been unable to lift him up very easily onto this bed. I can do it once, but putting him back to bed over and over again tonight was NOT and option. So, instead of getting wound up about the situation or constantly going out for help from Trusty Grandpa to put Toddler back into bed all the time I decided to adapt to the situation.

Here is how it all went:

1. Put Toddler to bed
2. Pull up blankets
3. Ask them what stories they want to be read
4. Toddler chooses "Roadworks" "Construction" and "Demolition"
5. Start to read Roadworks
6. Halfway through Toddler kicks off the blankets
7. Pull blankets back on
8. Toddler kicks them off again and gets out of bed
9. Ask Toddler to get back into bed
10. Toddler says "No"
11. Tell Toddler to get into bed
12. Toddler ignores me and starts running round the bed like a chicken with their head cut off
13. Count to three and tell Toddler that story time is over because they aren't in bed
14. Toddler still running round room, waving monkey around now
15. Turn off light and think "Two can play at this game"
16. Lie down on the bed and ignore Toddler
17. Toddler finally stops running round the room
18. Toddler climbs on bed
19. Toddler gives hug and says "Oh Mum!" (this is his "I love you Mum")
20. Give Toddler a hug and ask them if they are ready to get back into bed
21. Toddler says "No, Monkey Bed!"
22. Toddler drops Monkey on my face and continues to run around the room
23. Pick Monkey up and tuck them into bed (make a show of how good monkey is being)
24. Lie back down
25. Toddler stops and tries to get my attention "Mum? Mum? MUMMMMMMMM!"
26. Continue to ignore Toddler
27. Whip out phone and check FB
28. Toddler pops head between phone and my face and says "Hi MUM!" 
29. Continue to ignore Toddler
30. Toddler licks my face
31. Ignore Toddler
32. Toddler licks my mouth
33. Ignore Toddler
34. Toddler gets their hair brush "Mum! Brush hair" 
35. Toddler tries to brush my hair
36. Put phone away, collect hair brush off Toddler
37. Put hair brush away in drawer
38. Lie back down and ignore Toddler
39. Toddler opens the curtain
40. Close curtain from the bed and continue to ignore Toddler
41. Toddler pushes mattress off the trundler bed
42. Put mattress back
43. Toddler opens all the drawers of their dresser
44. Stand up, close drawers and stand in front of them to prevent Toddler from opening them again
45. Ignore Toddler
46. Toddler opens bedroom door and looks for Trusty Grandpa
47. Trusty Grandpa tells him to get back to bed
48. Toddler runs back to bedroom
49. Trusty Grandpa follows and finds me up against the dresser drawers and gives me a funny look
50. Trusty Grandpa puts Toddler back to bed and walks out
51. Give Trusty Grandpa a thank you smile and a wave
52. Toddler says "Mum?"
53. Kneel down next to Toddler and put hand over their back to calm them
54. While waiting for Toddler to fall asleep, put glow worm on and do back and leg strengthening exercises along to the music to pass the time
55. Hear Toddlers breathing relax
56. Check to see if they are asleep
57. Meet Toddlers wide eyes, and I kid you not - they wiggle their eyebrows at me while grinning from ear to ear (I love this kid's sense of humour, but OMG - GO TO SLEEP CHILD!)
58. Slowly turn head away while struggling (and barely succeeding) to keep a straight face
59. Once face is in opposite direction, silent laugh with tears running down face
60. Keep looking away until feel Toddler relax more and breathing becomes slow
61. Turn head back slightly and use peripheral vision to check if Toddlers eyes are closed (they are) 
62. Look back at Toddler fully and remove hand (so far, so good)
63. Stand up (Toddler doesn't stir)
64. Take a step away
65. Knee clicks (Oh for the LOVE of...)
66. Toddler removes thumb from mouth and points to the floor in front of them "Mum." (eyes remain closed)
67. Take a step back
68. Stay standing there until Toddler puts thumb back in mouth, nods and goes back to sleep
69. Slowly and successfully extract self from the bedroom, holding in laughter until in the lounge
70. Collapse on the couch in fits of giggles and explain to Trusty Grandpa what he missed out on

How To: Have a meltdown over a toy in the shops

1. Pop into Whitcouls to get some magic dots and have a look round
2. Toddler spots "Rubble" (a toy he has at home from PawPatrol) 
3. Toddler chanting happily "Rubble! Mum! LOOK! Rubble!"
4. See what he is pointing to and reply "Yes! It's Rubble! Just like your one at home"
5. Toddler "There he is!"
6. Me: "Yes! There is is!" 
7. Start walking away 
8. Toddler gets upset and calls "Rubble! MUM! MINE! MY RUBBLE!" (Warning! Warning!)
9. Kneel down to Toddlers level and say "Yes, he looks like your Rubble, but that is the Shops Rubble - yours is at home" (there is only one on the shelf, usually if he see's things like this he realises that they are the "Shops Toys")
10. Toddler shakes his head and points "NO! There, he's there!"
11. Try to explain again (Danger, Danger!)
12. Toddler not buying it, as he looks exactly like his Rubble and there is only one so it must be his 
13. (Meltdown in 3...2...1...) Toddler starts screaming for Rubble and is generally upset that we are leaving Rubble behind
14. Decide to change tactics "Well, look at that! You're right! He's here!" 
15. Wave to Rubble and say to him "Hi Rubble! What are you doing here?" 
16. Pause as if you are listening to what he is saying 
17. Say "Ah! I see." 
18. Turn back to Toddler and tell them "Rubble decided to come and do a bit of shopping, he'll meet us at home"
19. Toddler still upset, but waves bye to Rubble
20. Get out of shop and Toddler still wants to go back in and get Rubble "Go back Mum! Rubble in there!"
21. Sigh and say to Toddler "Well, maybe we'll beat him home? Shall we see if we can get home first?"
22. Toddler still a bit teary, but says "Yeah!" (probably not really convinced that he'll be at home)
23. Get in car and go home
24. When at home, leave Toddler in car while closing side gate and quickly pop inside to collect his Rubble (knew exactly where it was)
25. Pop Rubble on the back doorstep for Toddler to find
26. Let Toddler out of car and watch in amusement while they run to the back door, spot Rubble and get really excited
27. Spend next hour or so listening to Toddler talk to Rubble about him being at the shop while we were there too and how he didn't want to leave him behind, but Mum said we'd meet him back at home and here he is! (That's what I was able to translate, I'm sure there were a few choice words thrown in there about me forcing him to leave Rubble at the shop...)