How To: Clean the Bathroom Mirror

1. Start making self a coffee
2. Hear Toddler open the bathroom door
3. Call out to Toddler to get out of the bathroom
4. Put hot water and coffee mug in a safe place and go to investigate
5. Find Toddler standing on top of the bathroom vanity with toothpaste in one hand and a scrubbing brush in the other
6. Toothpaste is all over the vanity and Toddler has managed to scrub half the mirror with it also
7. Remove Toddler off the vanity and tell them that you don't stand on the vanity (point out the dirty foot prints that are now there)
8. Toddler goes "Oh. I clean?" 
9. Tell Toddler "Lets get some cloths and some window cleaner and I'll show you how to clean properly eh?"
10. Toddler follows me into the lounge and starts to play with his toys
11. Ask Toddler if they would like to help clean up the mess
12. Toddler replies "No, I'm fine. Thank you Mum"
13. Decide that it would be easier to clean up the mess on my own and will include Toddler in the next cleaning of the bathroom
14. I now have a sparkling clean bathroom vanity and clean bathroom mirror thanks to toothpaste!

How To: Dress yourself

I am SO proud! My little boy hit a huge milestone today - he practically dressed himself with only a little assistance from me! Here is how it went:

1. Spend most of the morning trying to get Toddler dressed
2. After a while of doing this change tactics
3. Ask Toddler if they can show me how to take off their PJ Top
4. Toddler smiles, undoes all the buttons and takes off his top
5. Ask Toddler to show me how to do take his nappy off
6. Toddler stands there and looks down at this nappy and after finding the tabs, removes it
7. Ask Toddler if they want to wear undies or a nappy today
8. Toddler chooses a nappy
9. Hand Toddler fresh nappy
10. Toddler lies down with legs up and says "Mum, Nappy on please!"
11. Praise Toddler for their good manners and assist them putting the nappy on
12. Hand Toddler a t-shirt and ask them to show me how they put a t-shirt on
13. Toddler say "T-shirt" and opens the t-shirt up from the bottom, puts it over his head and his right arm in the right hole
14. Toddler then tries to put his left arm in, but t-shirt is a little twisted
15. Toddler says "Mum, Help!" 
16. Smile and untwist t-shirt and praise Toddler for asking for help when they need it
17. Toddler then puts his left arm through the hole and sits down
18. Hand Toddler his shorts, and he puts a leg in each hole
19. Help Toddler stand up
20. Toddler pulls his pants up the front, but needs a little help getting the back part over his bum
21. Toddler smiles and says "Thank you Mum!" 
22. Smile back and reply "You're welcome Darling!"
23. Toddler then picks up the ties of his shorts and tries to tie a bow
24. After a little bit of struggling, he turns to me and says "Bow Mum!"
25. Show Toddler how to tie a boy (the two loops into a knot method)
26. Toddler watches the whole time with wide eyes
27. Toddler then sits down and puts his jandals on the wrong feet
28. Toddler looks at his feet and says "Help Mum! Wrong?"
29. Show Toddler my feet in Jandals and ask Toddler what is different to his jandals and mine
30. Toddler looks at my jandals then at his and says "Wrong Foot!"
31. Help Toddler take their jandals off
32. Toddler puts jandals onto correct feet and stands up "Come on Mum!"
33. Give Toddler a HUGE Hug and a couple of high fives and say "Yay! I'm so proud of you! You dressed yourself today" 
34. Toddler grins and replies "Yes Mum!" and walks out the room 

How To: Distract a Toddler from the marshmellows

1. Use a bag of frozen marshmallows for ouchies (works really well, as you give them one after they calm down)
2. Toddler has cottoned onto the idea that if he is hurt he will get a marshmallow 
3. Toddler ransacks the freezer on a daily basis to find said marshmallows
4. Today it happens again
5. Remind Toddler that the frozen marshmallows are for ouchies
6. Toddler throws themselves on the floor and cries "Ouch! It Hurts! Foot Sore!"
7. Try not to smile and tell Toddler that you know they aren't hurt
8. Toddler replies "Sore, sore foot" (this kid is either going to be a soccer player or an actor)
9. Put marshmallows away
10. Toddler tries to get marshmallows again
11. Get mesh feeder out, put piece of ice in it and give to Toddler
12. Toddler has forgotten about the marshmallows (for now...)

How To: Wash Monkey

1. Start making a ham and cheese bagel for lunch
2. Toddler comes over and wants Monkey to eat it
3. Monkey gets covered in mayo
4. Pick up Monkey and put into the washing machine (that has just started)
5. Toddler throws a tantrum that "My Monkey Wash!" 
6. Give Toddler spare Monkey
7. Toddler not having a bar of it
8. Spend next little while explaining to Toddler why Monkey needs a wash
9. Eventually Toddler calms down with a bottle and a spot of paw patrol
10. Sit down and eat Ham and Cheese Bagel for lunch while having a few moments peace

How To: Keep your cool when your Toddler gets into your craft stuff

1. Go to bed at midnight, due to working on blog and just having some "me" time
2. Neighbours across the road start running up and down the street yelling
3. Don't get to bed until 3am as Toddler won't settle because of idiots across the road... these are the same people who beep their horn at all hours of the day and night to get someone to move their car instead of getting out and asking them nicely. 
4. After constant trying to get Toddler to sleep in own bed, give up and let them sleep in my bed 
5. Spend next three hours getting kicked in the back and head and getting laughed at by Toddler
6. Eventually have enough, snap at Toddler and tell them they are going back in their own bed
7. Fall into bed and sleep until Toddler comes in at 7.30am
8. Get up, put telly on (as I know I really can't deal with making up games with Toddler)
9. Give Toddler breakfast, make own and have a coffee
10. Toddler finish coffee and turn telly off as Toddler playing with houses and heavy things on the wall
11. Toddler then runs into my bedroom and gets into craft things
12. Find Toddler trying to put craft items back into their jars, looking upset
13. Realise that Toddler is just as tired as I am and quietly help them put it back, praise them for helping put things back and acknowledge that it was an accident for it going everywhere
14. Take a deep breath and relax - another coffee and a nice shower shall help reset everything and writing this blog post will help too!

How To: Have a Haircut at the Hairdressers

Last night, I wasn't feeling very well.  So I went to bed early, leaving Hubby and Trusty Grandpa to put Toddler to bed. I managed to get a good sleep for the first time in ages, Toddler came in for a cuddle just after Hubby left for work and we slept in until 9am! This left us 45 minutes to get up, get dressed and have breakfast before we left for his haircut at 10am. We got there with time to spare, so instead of waiting at the hair dressers, I decided to get a coffee for me, and fluffy for Toddler to help him keep still while he had a hair cut. I also had a toy for him to play with to keep him busy. Below is the list of what happened in the hour from the moment we walked out the door to when we got home. Hope you enjoy our eventful hour!

1. Walk out the door and Toddler decides that we need to take his bucket with chalk, Toy Hoe and Toy Spade with us. 
2. Toddler puts the bucket in the boot of the car.
3. Put Toddler in car, and drive to the hair dresser
4. Get to HairDresser's 10 minutes early - decide to get coffee and fluffy for Toddler while waiting for hair cut
5. Walk into coffee shop and order a coffee for me and a fluffy for Toddler
6. While waiting for them to be made, Toddler decides to sit down at a table and play with his toy.
7. Two Ladies come in and start talking to Toddler and about how cute and well behaved is for waiting at the table for the coffee
8. One of the ladies picks up a "Coffee News" paper from the rack at the counter
9. Toddler decides they want one too
10. Toddler grabs ahold of the papers and brings the whole pile crashing down to the floor
11. Toddler says "Uh oh! Mess!" 
12. Help Toddler pick up the papers
13. The two ladies coo about how cute and helpful Toddler is
14. Toddler decides to explore the rest of the cafe opening cupboards and trying to get to the cakes and slices behind the glass
15. Ladies giggle and mention something about the terrible 2's 
16. Smile back, collect Toddler, Toddler's toy, drinks and make our way out the door and back to the hairdresser 
17. Get into the hairdresser and put drinks down
18. Toddler sits on the couch and wants their fluffy
19. Explain to Toddler that it's time to get their haircut and that they need to sit in the hairdressing chair (the hairdresser has put a booster seat up there for him so he can look in the mirror while it's getting done)
20. Toddler arches back and refuses to sit in the seat
21. Chase Toddler around the room for a bit with him zooming round like an airplane and laughing his head off (amusing the other ladies and hairdressers)
22. Catch Toddler and ask them what chair they want to sit in (there are three empty ones to choose from)
23. He chooses a chair and we sit him in it
24. Hairdresser moves all her equipment to the new chair and starts to cut his hair
25. Toddler decides that they don't want to sit there now and chooses another chair
26. Finally start the haircut with Toddler sitting on my lap, holding a spray bottle and a comb in each hand
27. Almost at the end of the haircut, Toddler has had enough and jumps down off my lap
28. End up finishing the haircut with Toddler playing in the washing up sink and the hairdressing tidying up around the ears while he's distracted
29. Strip t-shirt off Toddler and shake out over pile of hair
30. Toddler opens the door and runs outside
31. Run after Toddler and catch them before they run through the carpark
32. Kneel down to Toddler and give them a hug 
33. Pull Toddler away and tell them "Don't run away like that! You gave Mummy a fright!" Point out the cars that have now come into the car park "They cannot see you, if you ran over there they would have hit you and Mummy and Daddy would be very sad"
34. Toddler looks at the cars and nods "Ok Mum" (not sure if he really got it, but realises that I was scared)
35. Come back in and pay for hair appointment
36. Get in the car and drive home
37. On way home pass a camper van and see that there is a couple sitting there looking at the map (they are parked in a dodgy part in the area so pull over and ask them if they would like some help)
38. Explain to American Couple where they want to go for food shop and then show (just at the end of the road) and then show them on the map where the campsite is that they want to go)
39. Drive off and leave them too it
40. Stop at the train tracks as the barriers are down
41. Toddler: Go Mum, GO!
42. Me: I've got to stop, because there is a train coming *point out the flashing lights*
43. Toddler: A train?! Yay! Choo Choo!
44. Me: Yes, a train *Passenger train goes past and Toddler has a huge frown and confused look on his face*
45. Toddler: Mum. No, NOT Choo Choo Train
46. He then starts to call Daddy on his "palm phone" and tells him "It was NOT a Choo Choo Train Daddy!"
47. Have a giggle and get home
48. Toddler wants to get bucket out of the boot
49. Open boot
50. Toddler runs off with the bucket to the backyard
51. Catch up to Toddler (who is still shirtless) and find them trying to dig out the cactus plant (we had a few people over yesterday taking clippings off the prickly pear and Toddler wanted to help them)
52. Knowing that either me or Toddler would get prickles if I try to pick him up I call out that he needs to have a shirt, hat and sunscreen on if he wants to play outside
53. Sigh in relief as it works
54. Walk back inside and notice that we've only been out of the house for an hour

How To: Ignore your Toddler until they go to sleep (new bedtime routine!)

Tonight Toddler was playing up a little, and both my back and wrist have been sore, so I have been unable to lift him up very easily onto this bed. I can do it once, but putting him back to bed over and over again tonight was NOT and option. So, instead of getting wound up about the situation or constantly going out for help from Trusty Grandpa to put Toddler back into bed all the time I decided to adapt to the situation.

Here is how it all went:

1. Put Toddler to bed
2. Pull up blankets
3. Ask them what stories they want to be read
4. Toddler chooses "Roadworks" "Construction" and "Demolition"
5. Start to read Roadworks
6. Halfway through Toddler kicks off the blankets
7. Pull blankets back on
8. Toddler kicks them off again and gets out of bed
9. Ask Toddler to get back into bed
10. Toddler says "No"
11. Tell Toddler to get into bed
12. Toddler ignores me and starts running round the bed like a chicken with their head cut off
13. Count to three and tell Toddler that story time is over because they aren't in bed
14. Toddler still running round room, waving monkey around now
15. Turn off light and think "Two can play at this game"
16. Lie down on the bed and ignore Toddler
17. Toddler finally stops running round the room
18. Toddler climbs on bed
19. Toddler gives hug and says "Oh Mum!" (this is his "I love you Mum")
20. Give Toddler a hug and ask them if they are ready to get back into bed
21. Toddler says "No, Monkey Bed!"
22. Toddler drops Monkey on my face and continues to run around the room
23. Pick Monkey up and tuck them into bed (make a show of how good monkey is being)
24. Lie back down
25. Toddler stops and tries to get my attention "Mum? Mum? MUMMMMMMMM!"
26. Continue to ignore Toddler
27. Whip out phone and check FB
28. Toddler pops head between phone and my face and says "Hi MUM!" 
29. Continue to ignore Toddler
30. Toddler licks my face
31. Ignore Toddler
32. Toddler licks my mouth
33. Ignore Toddler
34. Toddler gets their hair brush "Mum! Brush hair" 
35. Toddler tries to brush my hair
36. Put phone away, collect hair brush off Toddler
37. Put hair brush away in drawer
38. Lie back down and ignore Toddler
39. Toddler opens the curtain
40. Close curtain from the bed and continue to ignore Toddler
41. Toddler pushes mattress off the trundler bed
42. Put mattress back
43. Toddler opens all the drawers of their dresser
44. Stand up, close drawers and stand in front of them to prevent Toddler from opening them again
45. Ignore Toddler
46. Toddler opens bedroom door and looks for Trusty Grandpa
47. Trusty Grandpa tells him to get back to bed
48. Toddler runs back to bedroom
49. Trusty Grandpa follows and finds me up against the dresser drawers and gives me a funny look
50. Trusty Grandpa puts Toddler back to bed and walks out
51. Give Trusty Grandpa a thank you smile and a wave
52. Toddler says "Mum?"
53. Kneel down next to Toddler and put hand over their back to calm them
54. While waiting for Toddler to fall asleep, put glow worm on and do back and leg strengthening exercises along to the music to pass the time
55. Hear Toddlers breathing relax
56. Check to see if they are asleep
57. Meet Toddlers wide eyes, and I kid you not - they wiggle their eyebrows at me while grinning from ear to ear (I love this kid's sense of humour, but OMG - GO TO SLEEP CHILD!)
58. Slowly turn head away while struggling (and barely succeeding) to keep a straight face
59. Once face is in opposite direction, silent laugh with tears running down face
60. Keep looking away until feel Toddler relax more and breathing becomes slow
61. Turn head back slightly and use peripheral vision to check if Toddlers eyes are closed (they are) 
62. Look back at Toddler fully and remove hand (so far, so good)
63. Stand up (Toddler doesn't stir)
64. Take a step away
65. Knee clicks (Oh for the LOVE of...)
66. Toddler removes thumb from mouth and points to the floor in front of them "Mum." (eyes remain closed)
67. Take a step back
68. Stay standing there until Toddler puts thumb back in mouth, nods and goes back to sleep
69. Slowly and successfully extract self from the bedroom, holding in laughter until in the lounge
70. Collapse on the couch in fits of giggles and explain to Trusty Grandpa what he missed out on

How To: Have a meltdown over a toy in the shops

1. Pop into Whitcouls to get some magic dots and have a look round
2. Toddler spots "Rubble" (a toy he has at home from PawPatrol) 
3. Toddler chanting happily "Rubble! Mum! LOOK! Rubble!"
4. See what he is pointing to and reply "Yes! It's Rubble! Just like your one at home"
5. Toddler "There he is!"
6. Me: "Yes! There is is!" 
7. Start walking away 
8. Toddler gets upset and calls "Rubble! MUM! MINE! MY RUBBLE!" (Warning! Warning!)
9. Kneel down to Toddlers level and say "Yes, he looks like your Rubble, but that is the Shops Rubble - yours is at home" (there is only one on the shelf, usually if he see's things like this he realises that they are the "Shops Toys")
10. Toddler shakes his head and points "NO! There, he's there!"
11. Try to explain again (Danger, Danger!)
12. Toddler not buying it, as he looks exactly like his Rubble and there is only one so it must be his 
13. (Meltdown in 3...2...1...) Toddler starts screaming for Rubble and is generally upset that we are leaving Rubble behind
14. Decide to change tactics "Well, look at that! You're right! He's here!" 
15. Wave to Rubble and say to him "Hi Rubble! What are you doing here?" 
16. Pause as if you are listening to what he is saying 
17. Say "Ah! I see." 
18. Turn back to Toddler and tell them "Rubble decided to come and do a bit of shopping, he'll meet us at home"
19. Toddler still upset, but waves bye to Rubble
20. Get out of shop and Toddler still wants to go back in and get Rubble "Go back Mum! Rubble in there!"
21. Sigh and say to Toddler "Well, maybe we'll beat him home? Shall we see if we can get home first?"
22. Toddler still a bit teary, but says "Yeah!" (probably not really convinced that he'll be at home)
23. Get in car and go home
24. When at home, leave Toddler in car while closing side gate and quickly pop inside to collect his Rubble (knew exactly where it was)
25. Pop Rubble on the back doorstep for Toddler to find
26. Let Toddler out of car and watch in amusement while they run to the back door, spot Rubble and get really excited
27. Spend next hour or so listening to Toddler talk to Rubble about him being at the shop while we were there too and how he didn't want to leave him behind, but Mum said we'd meet him back at home and here he is! (That's what I was able to translate, I'm sure there were a few choice words thrown in there about me forcing him to leave Rubble at the shop...)

How To: Give yourself a Hair Cut

1. Ring up the Hair Dresser to book appointment for Toddler (it's way over due)
2. Toddler hears me say "Hair Cut"
3. Toddler then runs into Trusty Grandpa's room yelling "Hair Cut! Hair Cut! Hair Cut!"
4. Quickly finish phone call and follow Toddler
5. Find Toddler standing on Trusty Grandpa's desk chair with a pair of scissors in one hand and a fist full of hair in the other...
6. Extract scissors from Toddler (place higher then before - they were up very high out of reach for Toddler before, so not even sure HOW they got to them)
7. Collect Hair off Toddler and put in zip lock bag - label to say it was their first self hair cut
8. Say "Oh No! You cut your hair! Only hair dressers do that!" and usher Toddler out of Grandpa's room
9. Try to book hair cut for today instead - nothing available
10. Look at Toddlers hair and on closer inspection, see that it's not too noticeable, so will be ok for a few days...

How To: Find things in you Toddlers nappy

This morning, my Toddler came into our room to wake me up (after a good nights sleep, Yay!) and as I went to pick him up for a cuddle, I found he was soaked through. This hasn't happened in a long time (probably in about a year or so) so I was quite surprised!

However, that wasn't the only surprise... after I had stripped the bed and opened up the nappy I found that he had stashed a few things in there (don't know how he managed it, as I changed him right before bed, but there they were. So, as it looks as though this is the start of another phase, i will document the different items I have found in his nappy - today and in the future:

1. A half eaten carrot (last night he was snacking on carrots after dinner, he must have put one down there while I was making his bottle)
2. A 10 cent piece (after a quick wash, I put this in his piggy bank)
3. An Apple (YES, a whole apple - I saw that his nappy was full and opened it to find an apple)
4. A piece of toast

How To: Explain a Shadow to a Toddler

Toddler has seen his own shadow and tried to chase it before, but not really been too interested in it or seem to really understand it. Today was the first time I think he really understood the concept of a shadow...

So how did it happen?

1. We were in the car driving home
2. Toddler calls out "Mum! Help!" in a slightly worried voice
3. Pull the car over and look at Toddler
4. See that Toddler is looking wide-eyed at his arms and legs
5. Realise that they are worried about the pattern of the shadow from the rear window on them
6. Say "It's a shadow darling, just like when you walk around and your shadow follows you"
7. Toddler is still looking at checkered pattern shadow on his arms and legs
8. Toddler starts to try shaking it off
9. Toddler tries to pick it off
10. See that he is getting upset about the shadows not going away
11. Try explaining again "It's ok, it won't hurt you. It's a shadow from the back window - look up!"
12. Toddler looks up at the back window for a few moments and then back at his hands
13. Toddler moves his hands back and forth looking at the window and to his hands again 
14. See it click in his little head how this who shadow thing works
15. Receive lovely smiles and a "Wow Mum!" 
16. Start the car again and carry on home

How To: Get your Toddler to eat their breakfast

There are many tricks and stories behind how I can get my Toddler to eat his breakfast... some work:

1. Find out what time they usually like to eat - My Toddler won't eat anything before 7-7.30am, even if we are up at 5am. I found if I wait until the 7am mark, he is most likely to eat his breakfast right away - without any stress.
2. Let them choose their breakfast
3. Let them help make it: If it's toast, let them put it in the toaster. If it's cereal, let them put it in the bowl and pour the milk (a little jug helps make less mess in this situation)
4. Turn the T.V. off - we don't watch much T.V. but in the early mornings, sometimes it goes on. We have a general rule that if it is on in the morning, it is off by 7.30am and doesn't go on until 5pm at the earliest (unless they are sick, or it is raining AND all other indoor activities have been exhausted) I have found if the T.V. is on while my Toddler is eating a meal, he will get so wrapped up in the programme that he will forget to eat. A reminder and a warning to turn the T.V. off usually work, if not the T.V. goes off and stays off until he eats his food.
5. Sit down with them and eat your breakfast too - show by example and spend time with them
6. Help them out, feed them by hand
7. Give them time, but if it is getting closer to morning tea time (or even lunch!) give up and just feed them the next meal. If you can avoid wasting the meal, put it in the fridge and try again the next day. 
8. Airplane spoon (imaginary or buy the ones that look like it - you can even get train and car spoons!)
9. Use an incentive. E.g. "We can't go out in the car until you eat all your breakfast"
10. Make a fort for them to eat in or a tent if you have one

And some don't work so much... here is a list of some of the things that have happened when my Toddler doesn't want to have breakfast:

The "Tip the Table" method

1. Give Toddler their breakfast at their kiddy table
2. Toddler may sample the food (one bite) or just stare at it
3. When you remind your Toddler to eat the food, Toddler refuses
4. If you push the issue OR they get bored...they flip the table over!
5. Sometimes you are lucky and the food lands right way up
6. Others, you're not so lucky and the food flips over with the table and you have a mess to clean up

The "Art skills" method

1. Toddler is given breakfast
2. Toddler then decides to tip the plate or bowl over onto their table or highchair tray
3. Toddler then finger paints with the milk, cereal and/or spreads on the table

The "Here Mum" method

1. Ask/Remind Toddler to eat their breakfast
2. Toddler bring the breakfast over
3. Go to reach for bowl (thinking that they want you to feed it to them
4. Toddler then tips the bowl onto your own breakfast plate

The "Hat" method

1. Give Toddler breakfast
2. Toddler may sample some food
3. Toddler wants to use the bowl as a hat
4. Toddler now needs a complete bath or shower 
5. Make sure to take photo's of this as it's a cute moment...

How To: Get Toddler into the carseat when they don't want to

I have gone through many different scenarios with my Toddler - as when he doesn't want to leave a place (usually the playground) he puts up a fight and doesn't want to leave at all.

This past year, there have been countless of times where we have been out and about somewhere and we've needed to come home - but my Toddler doesn't want to leave just yet.

If I am rushing and just tell Toddler that we are leaving and put him straight into the pram or car seat I usually get one - or more of the following:

1. Planking (where they arch their back, making it hard for you to put them in their seat, and worried that you might hurt them)
2. Waving hands in frustration, resulting in myself being hit in the face when I pick him up
3. Screaming
4. Shouting out "NO! HELP!" (this can lead to curious stares from strangers and a little embarrassment)
5. Running away
6. Refusing to leave, point blank - or ignoring you

All of the above are really hard for me, as I have to be very careful with my back, due recovering from surgery on it from a few years ago. I am still learning different ways to prevent this happening, but these are the following things that have worked for me:

Planking:

• I have tickled him until he laughed (but I gauge this, as if he is too upset/wound up already it will only frustrate him more and ensure more screaming)
• Distraction is a good thing - if you have a toy that they can play with all the better! I have recently bought a toy steering wheel from the local opshop and every time I have been having trouble getting him into this seat or pram, I give it to him so that he can "drive the car" from from his car seat. You could easily make your own out of cardboard together too! Extra points to you if you get him to turn the wheel left or right when you are pushing the pram and follow the direction he is turning it. (I wouldn't recommend doing this with the car though...)
• Wait them out if you have the time - calmly explain to them what you would like them to do, and if needed, put them in time out.
• If it is the pram you are trying to put them in, see if they are happy to hold your hand or help you push the pram instead
• Ask them if they can show you how to put the seat belt on (I have found this helps them feel as if they are the ones in control)
• If all else fails or you are short on time, I have loosened the straps of the car seat so that I can fling it over his arms and still buckle it up (without force) and then tighten the straps until it is at the safe position for you to drive.

Accidental and Frustration Hitting/Kicking:

• I have said to Toddler "Don't hit me, I don't hit you" in a calm voice (you do still need to be careful when you say this, as most people hear the word "hit" and hackles are raised) 
• Blow in their face - lovely smiles can be the result
• I have caught the offending hand/foot in my hand and done the following:
• Tickled it
• Done "This Little Piggy" or "Round and Round the garden went the Teddy Bear" etc
• Held onto the offending foot and looked at it in wonder and said something like "Oh wow! It's a foot! How did that get there? My goodness me! It's not meant to be up in the air like this dangling around" (so basically I've made of joke of it, distracted him and make him laugh in the process)
• Step or lean back (while still holding onto them) and said "That's not how you high five!" and ask them to show you how a high five is done 
• If all else fails,  pick them up and throw them over your shoulder in a fireman hold

Screaming:

• Sit there quietly and calmly talk to them
• If you are inside, remind them that you use an inside voice
• If you are outside and decide not to calmly talk to them (lets face it, sometimes it's just one of those days) put on your "Mum Voice"
• If you really want to scream back at them - within reason as you'll look like a crazy person (and you are meant to be the adult here) e.g They scream "NO!" you scream back "Yes!" - make sure you smile back at them as you play this game. The funniest thing I've had from my Toddler from this exchange is them pausing to look at me and then with a quick smile from them they then said "Ok Mum, come on - let's go" they then took my hand and walked ME back to the car!
• Whisper! Seriously they will come close to you to hear what you have to say - or the change in volume will distract them from whatever it is they were screaming about
• Say nothing, keep a blank face and raise your eyebrows (or one if you can manage it)

Shouting out "No! Help!"

• Ask them what they want help with
• If you are having a lot of weird stares from other people, say loud enough for everyone to hear but don't make it sound like you are panicking "I'm you're Mum. Not a stranger." - a side note here, if you are one of the people staring and honestly think that I am kidnapping my child or something - I will not bite your head off, in fact I will thank you! Trust your instincts on this, and if in doubt and the child really is asking for help, as embarrassing as it will be if they are only playing up, it is better to be safe then sorry
• If someone does come up to you and ask you if you are your Toddlers mother - as frustrating and embarrassing it may be; try NOT to snap at that person. As I have stated in the above point, I am most likely to thank you then yell at you. I have had a lovely lady come up to me and ask me a question along these lines "Is everything ok here?" to which I replied "Yes, it's fine I'm just trying to get my Son to finish on the play ground, but he's having so much fun he doesn't want to leave" she then offered me some help, and chatted to Toddler - which was enough to distract him and allow me to talk calmly to him. After that, I thanked her and Toddler happily hopped into their pram and allowed me to buckle him in

Running Away:

This is still a huge issue for me, and I am constantly looking out for new ideas that may work. I am not a fan of using a harness or strap on the hand for a few reasons:

1. They can wriggle of of them
2. You can get reliant on it, and they may not learn as quickly as they would if you didn't use it
3. It may actually frustrate them even more and if you have a stubborn child, it might not even work

In saying this, I have friends that have used harnesses for their kids that were runners and it worked very well for them. As with all parenting choices, an informed decision is the best and if you think your child will learn better by using a harness - go for it!

This is a list of the things that have helped me with my Toddler who is a "runner":

• Be quick on your feet
• Everywhere you go, have a quick look for at the exits and danger points and make a quick plan in your head how you will stop your child from running there if they do. (if there is a body of water - have it already in your mind that you are going to get wet at some point today - I'm not saying that they will jump in, but it's best to see the safest place for you to jump in before you have to, without injuring yourself as that wouldn't help the situation) 
• Make sure that you have no obstacles between you and your child so that you can get to them in a hurry if they do a runner
• Try to have someone else with you when you go out to a public place where you might let your child run free e.g. The Botanical Gardens or a park. At the very least, if they can't run after Toddler for you, they can guard your bag or pram if you have to do a "Drop and Run"
• Again, try to go to the park etc with other parents who have children the same age - or even older then yours. You can work together as a team. Also, sometimes the older kids are happy to help out as they understand the rules for staying in your line of site better. I have a good friend who has kids that are really good listeners and are happy to play with my Toddler while us Mum's have a chat - if Toddler runs off and one of the kids are close, they will either steer them back in the right direction, hold onto them until I can get there or chase after them in front of me so they can tell me which way they went as it helps be decide the quickest way to get to the Toddler
• Try to have a pram or a seat on hand - give your child fair warning if they look like they are going to run. I usually say to my Toddler "Stay here please, if you don't listen - you will sit in the pram" (up to you how many chances you give them. Sometimes I give them three, others only one if they run off in a dangerous situation) 
• Use different words to stop them. I am still aiming for them to stop when I say "STOP!" (this has happened only once for me which I will explain in the next point) - I was in a fluster one day, and called out "Wait!" and blow me down if my Toddler didn't stop in his tracks and actually wait for me. 
• Stand in front of them and hold your hand up in their eye sight and say firmly "Stop" 
• If they are old enough talk with them about it before you go anywhere. I specifically remember when I was about 3 or 4 year old, my Dad telling me "You don't run away from us here, there are cars that could hit you. There is only one of you and it would make us very sad if we lost you" I understood that right away and I didn't need to be asked to stop after that, just reminded of the statement with the words "There is only one of you"

Refusing to Leave/Ignoring you:

• I have had my Toddler literally sit down in the middle of the road that we were crossing because he didn't want to go (or if he was really tired from all the walking) In situations like this:
•  If I feel it about to happen I quickly stop and pick him up and carry him the rest of the way. 
• If it is in a safe place, I stop and get down to his level. I then ask him why he is sitting one the ground. If he says his legs are sore, I offer to carry him or find a place for us to sit down together until he's ready to walk again. If he says he doesn't want to move (and he is not hurt) I explain to him "You don't sit down in the middle of the footpath" and point out the people that have to walk around us. If he still refuses to move, I ask him again why he's not moving and work from there. 
• Use a treat as a bribe if you want to (I try not to, but if I do it's usually if they have been good the rest of the day and if they aren't doing anything else besides saying they don't want to leave) Sometimes you just need a little incentive. :-)
• If they are outright ignoring you, make sure that they can actually hear you. If they can't, move to where they can, or:
• Walk up to them and ask them to look at you
• Tell them that you are leaving
• Give them a choice "We leave now, or you go in time out" 
• Take them by the hand and walk them out
• Acknowledge their feelings "I know you are having heaps of fun here, and it is a shame we have to leave now, but we can come back another time"

Other Tips and Methods you could try:

• Give them fair warning. When I am ready to leave I either pull him to the side and tell him one of two things:

1. Tell them they have 10 minutes left - set a timer on your phone, and make it clear that when it goes off, you are leaving. (extra points to you if you have a ring tone that helps e.g. "So long, farewell" from The Sound of Music)
2. Give them 3-5 more times down the slide and count it down with them. Be fully prepared that they will go down the slide once, then play on each piece of equipment between each slide. e.g.  "Toddler, you have 3 more goes down the slide then we are going home. One! Wow! You've gone down once, now you have 2 more goes!"

• Praise, praise and praise again! I get better results from my Toddler if I am positive and praise him and tell him that I am proud of him for listening. 
• Be patient. Remember that they are only little and still learning themselves
• Talk with them before you go out and tell them what you expect from them, and then when it is almost time to leave remind them again. e.g. "We are going shopping, and then we will go to the play ground for a bit after. When I tell you to get ready to go home, please help me out and be ready to leave when we need to" (this works better with older kids, but I've started it with my Toddler and sometimes it works)

I have others that I have tried, and will add them when I think of them or when I have discovered something new! I would love to hear any other ideas for this subject if you have them :-)

How To: Clean the house before your Mother-in-law visits

The week leading up to the visit:

1. Have a sore back from all the extra stretches the rehab physio has given you to do
2. Have hardly any sleep for about a week due to Toddler not sleeping in their bed, back pain, crampy leg and being wired from the copious amounts of coffee you have been drinking to help you cope through out the day
3. Due to lack of sleep and sore back, get minimal amount of housework done, and keep putting off the big things
4. The night before MIL is due to arrive, fold huge pile of washing that has been sitting around waiting to be done, clean the toilet room and because Toddler is in bed - opt to vacuum the next day. 

The day of the visit:

1. Get woken up after another restless night by Hubby's "last" alarm going off
2. Make sure that Hubby is awake
3. Hubby leaves for work
4. Start stretches and hear Toddler wake up
5. Toddler runs into the lounge, rips the curtains open to say bye to Daddy
6. Make Toddler breakfast
7. Make and eat own breakfast
8. Trusty Grandpa gets up and does the dishes
9. Have a quick shower with Toddler and send out to Trusty Grandpa to dress while getting self dressed
10. Say bye to Toddler and head off for blood test (Toddler NOT happy about me leaving)
11. Have 5 vials of blood taken
12. Decide to go straight home instead of food shopping after blood test as now need a rest and something to eat (besides, Toddler usually loves food shopping, so will do so after lunch)
13. Get home, start tidying up the lounge and own bedroom
14. Get to Toddlers room and tidy their room, decide to organise the books
15. Toddler comes into the room and starts to read each and every book that I begin to put away - or wants me to read it to him (he is so my Son)
16. Manage to finish in Toddlers room 
17. Empty rubbish bins in room
18. Empty vacuum cleaner
19. Vacuum lounge (with Toddlers help - pushing, pulling the vacuum around)
20. Decide to lay down and rest for a little bit
21. Toddler follows into the bedroom
22. Talk to Toddler for a bit
23. Toddler takes out the box of lego people from Hubby's bedside table and starts playing with them
24. Close eyes for a few minutes, listening to Toddler being occupied with his game
25. Feel Toddler jump up on bed and say "KEYS!"
26. Toddler steps from bed with the window keys in his hand and decided that he needs to unlock the window while standing on the window sill
27. Get up off the bed and remove Toddler from the window sill
28. Toddler arches back
29. Stepback to regain balance and step on all the lego people
30. Lose balance even more
31. Throw Toddler on the bed and drop to knees in pain
32. Let out a squeal as knelt in the lego people
33. Take a few deep breaths
34. Look up to see Toddler is batting the lamps above Hubby's and my bed
35. Tell Toddler off
36. Hobble outside and ask Trusty Grandpa to keep an eye on Toddler while you clean up lego people (and to have a few minutes to calm self down)
37. Trusty Grandpa takes over and feeds Toddler their lunch
38. Have a little cry to let it all out and pick up the lego people
39. Hobble back into the kitchen and make lunch
40. Sit down for a little bit and think about all that needs to be done
41. Decide that food shopping can be done after a little rest
42. Also Decide that the rest of the vacuuming can wait, as I would rather have a happy child (who is clearly craving attention from me) then a perfect house. 
43. Continue to sit down and give pat on the back for work that has been done
44. Wonderful Granny arrives and after I apologise for not being able to get the house as clean as I would have liked (bathroom still needs to be done, rest of house vacuumed and Toddler has taken his toys for a walk through out the house)
45. Wonderful Granny gives me a hug and tells me not to worry about it as she knows how hard it can be
46. Remind self in future to continue enjoying the moments with Toddler instead of stressing about housework, as most people will understand. 

How To: Ruin a nice family moment (but still end it in laughter)

1. Toddler goes into their room after dinner
2. Hear them chatting away to themselves
3. Walk down to investigate
4. Toddler is reading his books to Monkey
5. Toddler then decides that he wants to look out his window - so he hops up on his bed and stands on the window sill
6. Stand behind Toddler for safety and ask him what he's up to
7. Toddler chatters away and points to everything he see's out the window "Mummy's car - Blue", "Grandpa's Car - Red", "Daddy's um.... not his car"
8. Toddler then spots the cat "Darcy! DARCE! Hello Darcy!"
9. Toddler then spots a plane (and so on an so forth talking about the different things he sees)
10. Toddler then looks at me and says "Mum?" with a serious expression
11. Reply "Yes Darling?"
12. Toddler points to his bed "You bed - Read Story"
13. Push the bed up to the window sill under Toddler
14. Lay down on the bed as instructed and pick up nearest book
15. Hold the book up to Toddler and ask them what book it is
16. Toddler yells out "CRANKY!"
17. Start reading Cranky 
18. Halfway through, Toddler comes down off the window sill and gives me a hug "Enough now"
19. Toddler gets back up on the window sill and continues to chatter away
20. Hubby comes in and gives me a hug
21. Start having a little chat together while watching Toddler
22. Chat away with Toddler with Hubby's head on my stomach...
23. I feel a sudden urge to fart 
24. Before I can warn Hubby - out it comes 
25. Close eyes momentarily in embarrassment
26. Open eyes and Hubby has shot out the room so fast leaving self and Toddler alone together
27. Realise that he also closed the door
28. Crack up laughing at his reaction
29. Toddler looks at the door and says "Uh oh..."
30. Toddler looks at me and says "Oh no!"
31. Laugh so hard at Hubby's and Toddler's reaction that tears are streaming down my face
32. Toddler then hides under his bed
33. Laugh even harder and have trouble breathing
34. Run out the room after Hubby, laughing and crying
35. Tell him Toddlers reaction through fits of laughter
36. More laughter between the both of us
37. Hear giggling from Toddlers room
38. Walk back into room and finish hanging out with Toddler before bedtime

How To: Count

1. Toddler starts counting in the lounge
2. "One... Two..." 
3. Toddler walks out of the lounge an into the kitchen
4. Daddy is in the lounge, calls out "Three, Four!"
5. Toddler runs back into the lounge
6. "Five!" 
7. Toddler pauses looks at Daddy and says "Uh... I don't know!" and runs off

How To: Raise your child without your Mum's advice

I have seen so many posts lately about "How to live without your Mum" they usually involve a story about how the writer lost their Mum at a young age and how tough it is to see other parents with their Mum helping out. I am not, in any way putting this down, as I can understand that losing a parent at a young age (or at any age) to death is terrible and there are no words that can explain or help you move on from it.

But what happens, like me - your Mum is alive and well but you don't talk? What happens when you have made the decision to raise your child with out them in your life? What happens when even if you were on speaking terms with your Mum - you wouldn't get that help that so many other Mothers so willingly provide to their children? I don't have all the answers, and every day I am learning to cope with my decision (and the knowledge that I will never get what I want and need from my Mum)

I won't go into all the details, as I know for some it may be traumatic to read about some things that remind them about a horrible parts of their life. But for me, lets just say there are a fair amount of unresolved issues that are between my Mum and me, and even though I tried my best to meet her half way, also to talk to her about the past and ask for advice - I had comments thrown at me to end the conversation i.e. "When you are a parent, you will understand why I acted like I did" or "Oh, well you're going to be a horrible mother anyway." (nb - now that I am a parent, I understand less how she acted like she did)

I decided to write this, as I realised yesterday for the first time in my life - Mum's birthday passed right by me and I didn't even realise. I am a stickler for birthdays. once I know your birthday I do my best to remember it. Especially my immediate family. I remember your birthdate and I do everything I can to make that day special for you.

Last night, while cooking dinner was when I realised that Mum's birthday had passed. Yesterday would have been a day when we all went to Mum and Dad's for dinner (or lunch or avo tea) and spent the day celebrating her birthday. And because of this I had a cry. I realised how far I have come in my life from the lost little girl who put her life on hold time and time again for her "sick" mother. I realised that even though the going has been tough the last few years I still do not regret my decisions and the way they have helped me grow into the person I am today. I realised how much of a fight I had to make on a day to day basis - to be the person I wanted to be with my values intact. I realised that over the years of the struggle with my mother - trying to be the perfect daughter in her eyes - I would never have been enough.

All of the above and more I have known for a very long time. But for some reason last night it hit me with a larger blow then usual. They say it takes a village to raise a child. I believe this is true. Even though I do not have the advice of my Mum - I still have a strong support network that I have found in my Loving Husband, my Trusty Father in Law who lives with us, my Wonderful Mother in law and Sisters in law, my extended family and friends.

In saying this, there are still times that I find myself lost, and there are times where it still hurts so much. I made my choice that it is best for me as a person, best for our Son and best for our little family to not include my Mother in our life because I wanted the best life I could have for my Son.

I could not be the best person, best mother, best wife, best friend I could be when I had a constant battle going on with my own mother. When I felt I was under her thumb so much, and I was walking on eggshells. When I was always playing the role of peace maker over something my mother had said to someone else in my family and I had to pull her in check and at sometimes act like her mother for saying things that were inappropriate. At such a young age I felt that our roles had been flipped over and over again. I never knew where I stood, but I was always striving to be someone I didn't know how to be.

Slowly over the years, there were many times that I lost respect for her. And in doing so, I realised I did not want to be like her.

When I met my Husband - he was a breath of fresh air. All this time, I had been drowning and suffocating, and I didn't even know it. He and his family welcomed me with open arms, and for that I am so grateful. I can not express enough or find the right words for how loved and included I feel. I am seen as a person in my own right. I can express and opinion - without being made to doubt it. I have more confidence in myself. I have a better awareness of who I am and where I am going. I didn't have that before. With my Mother, and my immediate family I was always lost, told that I was being self righteous if I questioned her words or decisions. I needed to be put in my place; whether it be verbally or when I was younger physically.

I have many things to be thankful for; my little family, my Son, my life. I am even thankful to my Mother. Because without her showing me that bullying, exclusion and comparison is not the way to raise a child - I would not be the mother I am today.

I wrote this today as it is a brand new year, and I wish to continue to move forward. I may grieve for my Mum - although she is not dead - it is not really her I grieve for. It is the idea of who I wished her to be and the realisation that I will never get that from her.

So, How do you raise your child without your Mum's advice?

1. Firstly, decide who you want to be as a person
2. Then, what you want out of life
3. Who you want to be as a parent - decide this with your SO if you have one and stick with it
4. How you want your child to feel about themselves
5. Have a strong support network - I have surrounded myself with positive people, friends and family members who understand the situation and are happy to help regardless. I don't associate with people who keep trying to push me back to my mother as for me, "She will always be your mum and you will regret it" does not cut it as a good enough reason to include her back into my life when she is unwilling to change
6. Have no regrets. You can still be a good person, but if you focus on not being able to talk to them you can't allow yourself to be happy. Yes, there are times when I see something that I would like to share with my Mum - that I know she might find funny. But if I open the door - it will be like releasing the Kraken. I do not regret my decision. 
7. Be firm in what you chose to do. You can't keep going back and going round in circles if you keep getting the same results after so much effort
8. Enjoy every day as a brand new day
9. Enjoy every little thing your child does - note down all the cute little quirks they have and enjoy them for who they are
10. Tell your child you love them everyday - let them know that you will always be here no matter what and that they mean the world to you
11. Read as many blogs, books and articles as you can to help you decide why strategies you wish to take (especially when all you have to go on is a negative reaction you were bought up with)
12. Talk to other parents and people in your support network - they are always happy to help, and when you are a parent - there are no stupid questions!
13. Do not doubt yourself - EVER. 
14. And most importantly - Be yourself, take time out for yourself - remember who you are - so that you can show your child the best part of you. 

How To: Put a Nappy in the Rubbish Bin

1. Change nappy
2. Put new nappy on
3. Ask Toddler to put used nappy in the rubbish bin
4. Toddler hops off the bed and picks up nappy with one hand, and grabs hold of my finger with the other
5. Toddler says "Come on Mum"
6. Toddler walks me from his bedroom to the back door
7. Toddler asks for the back door to be opened
8. Open back door and follow Toddler outside
9. Toddler walks to their dump truck (which he had parked at the back door last night before coming inside)
10. Toddler puts nappy in the dump truck (sitting it next to his gardening tools)
11. Toddler then pushes dump truck to the rubbish bins at the back of the shed
12. Toddler stops the dump truck next to the rubbish bins and opens one
13. Toddler picks up a spade and a rake from his dump truck and uses the tools to pick the nappy up and put it back into the bin
14. Toddler closes bin, nods his head (for a job well done) and pushes his truck to the back door, calling over his shoulder "Come on Mum" 
15. Follow Toddler, while laughing to self about Toddler cute way of putting his nappy in the rubbish bin