How To: Spend Boxing Day

1. Get woken up by Toddler at 3.30am
2. Manage to give Toddler a bottle and they sleep in their own bed until 5.30am
3. Toddler comes into our bed and wriggles around far a while until Daddy gets up
4. Tell Toddler Daddy is going to "Work" (not really, but only way to keep Toddler in bed for a little while longer... if he knew we would be playing trains today he would be upset that Daddy left before him)
5. Toddler says "Bye Bye Daddy, Go Work" sucks thumb and goes back to sleep
6. Manage to sleep until 7.30am
7. Get up and have breakfast
8. Get ready to go out - pack a picnic
9. Get in the car and make way to Toddler's surprise for the day - Ride on Trains
10. Get lost on the way to the place due to apple maps directing us to a gated community instead of a private farm that holds their own train track layout
11. Call Hubby (who's phone is going direct to voicemail due to limited reception where both parties are!)
12. Leave message
13. Pull out an actual map and locate the train place and drive there
14. Drive past entrance twice
15. Manage to drive in the entrance down a long driveway
16. Unload the car and stop Toddler from running down the hill as they would just fact plant due to the momentum 
17. Arrive at the train shed and Toddler sees a train further down the hill
18. Stop Toddler from running to the train - explain we need to see Daddy first and have lunch (also if let loose, Toddler had a bramble bush between him and the train)
19. Find Daddy and have lunch
20. Toddler goes for a little bit of walk around
21. Sit down and watch the trains
22. Hubby goes and acquires a train 
23. Daddy drives the train as we all go for a ride
24. Toddler likes what Daddy is doing and decides they want to drive the train too...
25. Daddy stops the train and I take control of Toddler
26. Finish the circuit of the track and go home
27. Get home and play with toys from Christmas
28. Daddy comes home a little later (he was in charge of a train, so had to pack it away etc)
29. Daddy sits down and takes off his shoes
30. Toddler says "Daddy's shoes! Daddy's Toes!"
31. Daddy says "Do you want to smell my Toes?"
32. Toddler gives Daddy a look that says "Really? Ok... if you insist"
33. Toddler then walks over to Daddy's feet, bends over and sniffs his toes
34. Crack up laughing, and Toddler grins and decides to sniff Grandpa's toes too
35. Spend rest of the night watching Toddler have their fun with ranging from sniffing toes and playing with their wooden train set 

How To: Sleep in on Christmas Day (When you have a Toddler)

1. Get woken up by Toddler at 4am (who wants a bottle)
2. Tell Toddler "Ok, you stay here in bed and I'll bring it to you" (as if that ever worked)
3. Crack up laughing as Toddler zooms out of his room and into the kitchen (going so fast that it can only be by the star power from his new pjs)
4. Follow Toddler into the kitchen and make up bottle
5. Toddler pops into the lounge and says Trusty Grandpa's Christmas Stocking that Santa left behind
6. Toddler says "WOW!" and goes to open the stocking
7. Give Toddler their bottle and tell them that the stocking is Grandpa's
8. Toddler puts stocking back and goes back to bed with bottle (doesn't even see the other three Christmas stockings!)
9. Wake up naturally at 8am, check on Toddler who is still asleep
10. Quickly get dressed and make first coffee of the day
11. Hear Toddler wake up and down coffee
12. Toddler zooms down the hallway and into the lounge
13. Toddler turns around and zooms back to Grandpa's room and says "Hi Grandpa!"
14. Toddler grabs Grandpa's hand and brings him into the lounge
15. Toddler points at Grandpa's Christmas Stocking and says "Happy Birthday Grandpa!"
16. Laugh and point out Toddler's stocking 
17. Toddler excited and puts on Santa Hat
18. Take a few photo's and a video of Toddler opening stocking and put camera away to actually LIVE the moment and not look at it through a lens 
19. Toddler plays with each and every piece from his stocking for about 20 minutes
20. Pack stocking fillings away and show Toddler the other presents under the tree
21. Toddler takes their time opening the presents and pays due attention to each new toy (so we are about to spread it out through out the day!)
22. Hubby makes a Christmas breakfast with Toddler helping, by sitting on his shoulders and supervising (Bacon, Eggs and Black Pudding on Toast - Plum Sauce too!) 
23. Sit down and eat breakfast, have second coffee of the day while enjoying watching Toddler play with their new toys
24. Trusty Grandpa debones a chicken to roast for Christmas Lunch
25. Get wrapped up in playing with Toddler and end up having Christmas Lunch for an early dinner

How To: Spend Christmas Eve

1. Bring out the Christmas eve box
2. Toddler inspects each item (New PJ's, The Night Before Christmas Book, Marshmallows, Hot chocolate and cookies and two DVDs)
3. Toddler wants to put the "Stars" PJ's on
4. Make Hot Chocolate
5. Sit down to watch The Polar Express and drink hot chocolate
6. While Toddler watching movie, make up Toddler's bed
7. Toddler comes and inspects what I am doing
8. Toddler waits for the bottom sheet and the pillow case to be on, grabs Monkey and hops into bed
9. Finish making bed with Toddler in it
10. Collect "The night before Christmas" and read to Toddler
11. Toddler falls asleep at end of book
12. Go back into lounge and finish watching The Polar Express
13. Finish wrapping the last of the presents
14. Set presents under the tree
15. Watch Love Actually
16. Help Santa with the stockings
17. Put Toddlers Christmas Book on the end of his bed ready for him to see when he wakes up
18. Go to bed and hope to not get up too early on Christmas day!

How To: Use your Imagination

Max has now reached the age that he uses his imagination during play heaps! So, anything that he uses his imagination for that I find amusing - or the different things he comes up with for one object I will list here for logging purposes and enjoyment :-)

Table and Chair set

I recently bought a table and chair set (one of those that you flip the table over and it can become a high chair also) and even though we've only had it for a short span of time, he has been obsessed with it! This list of if the many things he has used his chair and table set for:

1. Flipped the table over and used it as a piano
2. Sat with two pencils and used the table top as a drum
3. Lay under the table with his pocket knife tool kit and called out "I Fix!"
4. Flipped over the table and asked to have a blanket over the top of it, so he could use it as a fort (five minutes later, I caught him climbing on top of the blanket and told him not to do that as he could hurt himself. He gave me a cheeky monkey grin, went to sit on it and promptly fell through the blanket into the bottom of the table)
5. Flipped it over and tried to put the chair in the holes (I helped him, but it was upside down and not the hight of a high chair) He then pushed it up the other end of the hall, sat in the chair and said "Mum, PUSH!" While pointing down the hallway (of course I pushed him on it like a sled, he LOVED IT)

Cooking

This is beginning to become a problem and I believe I will soon have to find him his own oven as he has started opening up our oven and putting things in it!

• Pull out the pots and pans and I have found the following in the pots:
• A packet of peas
• A packet of corn
• Bread crumbs
• Rice
• I have found the following in the oven where he has said to me "I cook!"
• A muffin
• A Banana
• An Apple
• He also likes to make us tea. I've got him a tea set for Christmas that I hope he will enjoy!

How To: Tell a Toddler what they aren't

Most of the time, the easiest way to stop my boy from doing something naughty or silly - is to tell him what he is not. E.g. When he is chewing on something, like his shoe, your shoe or a piece of furniture (yes, this actually happens) I tell him "Don't do that. You are NOT a puppy dog" 

Here is a list of things I have told him that he is NOT (I will alter the list as more items become available and I remember them!)

1. You are NOT a puppy dog (chewing on the furniture)
2. You are NOT a piece of kindling (Toddler decided that it was a good idea to open the fireplace door and sit inside on the ledge - Thank God that he stays away from the thing in winter when we use it, but if he gets bored during summer - watch out!)
3. You are NOT a cat (stop eating the cat's food will you or lapping water up out of the cats bowl)
4. You are NOT a piece of rubbish (Get your head out of the rubbish bin - NO! Don't play with it! Put it back!!!!!)
5. You are NOT a moth (Stop eating your clothes! - Though I doubt this will really work, as I was one of those kids...)
6. You are NOT Sylvia Plath (Yes, he had his head in the oven, No it wasn't turned on)
7. You are NOT a stripper (as in "Stop dancing on the table, you are NOT a stripper")
8. You are NOT a piece of washing (he was in the laundry tub, we were trying to figure out how on earth he got into there as there was no steps and quite high - he managed to use the little handle on the cupboard door to hoist himself up)
9. You are NOT a nudist, this is NOT a nudist colony. (Yup, he refused to put some clothes on and today I decided not to fight him on it - so around the house Toddler is running probably thinking "FREEDOM!" I'll leave making him put clothes on for when we go out of the house...)
10. You are NOT a cat (This time, he emptied his raisins into the cat's food bowl and ate them out of there on all fours - naked)
11. You are NOT a cat (told him this to stop him from climbing the cat climbing towers at the pet store)
12. You are NOT a dog (again, at the pet store, him crawling into every dog kennel)

How To: Have a Toddler say sorry (without prompting!)

1. Get home from a long day out
2. Toddler wants a milk in his sippy cup
3. Pour milk into cup and give to Toddler (they take it into the lounge)
4. Pour own drink and follow Toddler, asking them if they want a biscuit
5. Find Toddler pouring half the milk from his sippy cup onto the carpet (it's one of those Avent learn to sip cups, you can't spill it unless you push the top down)
6. Take sippy cup off Toddler and put on bench
7. Tell Toddler off for being silly
8. Start to clean mess up
9. Give cloth to Toddler to finish cleaning up the mess
10. Toddler finishes cleaning and comes back and says "Sorry Mum" (first time he's ever said it without being asked to!)
11. Kneel down next to Toddler and tell them "Thank you so much for saying sorry, I am so proud of you" 
12. Give Toddler a hug
13. Sit down with Toddler, give them back their sippy cup and a biscuit for afternoon tea

How To: Feed a Toddler Breakfast

1. Toddler comes in at 7.30am (yay! mini sleep in)
2. Toddler pulls off sheets "Up Mum!"
3. Get up and realise that Trusty Grandpa is already up and having breakfast
4. Trusty Grandpa see's Toddler and puts more cereal into his own bowl (Toddler likes to sit on his knee and eat out of Grandpa's bowl even when he has his own breakfast)
5. Toddler doesn't want to do that today
6. Toddler picks up Monkey and takes himself back off to bed
7. Follow Toddler and find him all tucked up in bed sucking his thumb
8. Walk up to Toddler and check forehead - feels normal "You not feeling well bud?"
9. Toddler nods and says "Milk!"
10. Go and get some milk sorted for him, give to Toddler and say "Ok, when you're finished, Grandpa and I are out in the lounge, you can come out if you want to and I'll give you some breakfast"
11. Toddler spends about a half hour drinking milk and having a rest 
12. Toddler comes out and asks for breakfast (just sat down with own breakfast)
13. Get up and put cereal into a bowl for Toddler (Grandpa has finished his own breakfast by now)
14. Toddler sits down at his little table
15. Put bowl down for Toddler with spoon
16. Toddler eats a little bit and decides he wants some of my breakfast
17. Toddler pushes table out, which makes the bowl slide off the top
18. Amazingly - the bowl lands right way up, no spills!
19. Stand up to retrieve bowl
20. Toddler pushes table out more and it topples over
21. Table falls down onto of bowl - flipping it into the air
22. Give own breakfast to Toddler while cleaning up spilled cereal

How To: Use the 'Pay at Pump' feature

1. Pull up at the pump
2. Decide to use the "Pay at Pump" feature as you don't want to take Toddler inside (there is a long line) - And besides, Toddler likes to watch the numbers count up on the pump
3. Follow the instructions and enter that you want to put $20 worth or petrol into your car
4. After a while of standing there, begin to think "Hey, it's taking a while to put $20 in"
5. Look at the dollar value on the pump and see that it is at $47! (more then twice the amount you have budgeted for)
6. Instantly stop pouring petrol into the car and hang up nozzle
7. Look at the "Pay at Pump" screen and all it says is "Pay inside when finished fuelling"
8. Take Toddler out of the seat, hold their hand and walk inside to complain and pay for the petrol
9. Toddler loses their shoe and gets upset
10. Another customer picks it up and help me put it back on
11. Decide to use the money machine to check the money to confirm that card wasn't declined at the pump and it wasn't a banking issue that might have made it not work
12. Juggle Toddler, Keys and Wallet while using money machine
13. Confirm that it is not a "declined" issue
14. Walk up to the counter and stand in line behind four other people
15. Stand in line for a few minutes (that seems like an eternity for a Toddler)
16. Toddler see's all the goodies at his eye height 
17. Queue Toddler singing a song that consists of "Lollies, Ice Cream, Chocolate, Ice Blocks" 
18. Get to front of the line and sit Toddler on counter
19. Explain issue with pump and how you're not happy with the "Double the money" situation (while taking items on the counter out of Toddlers hands)
20. Pay for the petrol with a parting comment to the attendant "This close to Christmas is not cool, so many people are just trying to get by and don't have the spare money on a mess up like this"
21. Get into car and drive off
22. Call Hubby to make him aware about the extra money that has been spent (so that any purchases he makes, he is aware of the $27 less money we have)
23. Get home and write a lengthily email of complaint... that is more of a novel ending in an apology to the attendant for loosing my cool:

Hi There, 

At 9.22am this morning, (Saturday, 17th December 2016) I went to my usual Z petrol station to put $20 worth or petrol into my car. I am a constant customer at Z Takanini as they have pay at the pump facilities - which makes it easy to pay and fill the car up with no hassles (or so I had thought!)

I pulled up at the station, put my card into the pay at pump device - where I followed the instructions as usual. I lifted up the nozzle as instructed and began to fill the car up. After a while of standing there, I began to think "Hey, It's taking a while to put $20 in..." looked at the dollar value on the petrol dispenser and to my horror it was at $47.41!!!!!!! 

Naturally, I freaked out, as I was only expecting to spend the $20 that this weeks budget has allowed for. I instantly stopped the petrol from going into the car and then looked at the pay at pump device to see what the issue was. All it said was "pay inside when finished fuelling". 

I returned the nozzle to the dispenser, picked my Toddler up and walked with him inside to sort the issue out. Let me just point out here, that the main reason I prefer to pay at the pump is because I do not wish to stand in line with a Toddler (or leave him in the car while I go inside) Paying at the pump allows me to fill my car up and talk to my Toddler while doing so, and there is something special about how he enjoys watching the numbers on the petrol dispenser counting up - something magical about it. Anyway....

I went inside, (juggling my Toddler, keys and wallet) walked up to the money machine to confirm that it wasn't a problem from my end due to the bank. As I suspected, there was enough money in there to pay for the petrol. Now, this was no easy feat checking the money while holding onto a Toddler, who had also lost his shoe on the walk from the car to inside, so he was upset about that. (Luckily another customer picked it up for me) 

After confirming that, I walked up to stand in line (four people deep) naturally my Toddler got bored after a minute or two of waiting (for a Toddler, a minute is an eternity -try putting one in time out and you'll understand!) Because all the chocolate and ice cream and other such treats are at eye height for a Toddler and most children, (a brilliant marketing ploy, I assure you) They can't help but see them and of course want them, so while waiting in line, I got a sing song of words consisting of "Lollies, Chocolate, Ice Cream, Ice blocks!" 

Finally it was my turn at the counter. I went up and told them my predicament, because of the fact that by that stage I was trying to stop my Toddler from picking everything off the shelves (hence why I prefer to pay at the pump) I was having trouble explaining to them about the issue at the pump in a calm manner - yes I did have enough money in my account to pay for the $47.41. BUT this close to Christmas, and when you have already had year of tough budgeting that every CENT counts. Double the amount that you have budgeted for is unacceptable and upsetting. 

Of course I payed the money, and I got a receipt for it so I can try to salvage what's left of my budget. But this is a tough time of year for most people, and I ended up walking away in tears after telling the attendant who served me the problem. I was mainly crying because I was upset at how I had spoken, not only to the attendant, but also in front of my Son. However the double the money situation didn't help. I just hope that another person who is on a tighter budget then me doesn't have the same issue. 

No, I don't know what caused the pay at pump not to work, as I did everything as I usually do and followed the instructions to a T. But if you could please contact the manager and ensure that they can find out and fix the problem, so that no other person has the same issue I did - that would make my day. Also, on a side note if you could pass on my apologies to the attendant that served me, as she was just doing her job. I have worked in customer service in the past and know how one bad customer experience can put a damper on your day. 

Kindest Regards, 

How To: Use a Phone (Toddler Styles)

By showing your Mum that the way she used phones is SO old school!

1. Toddler runs up to me and says "Mum, Phone!"
2. Assume the phone shape with hand (thumb to ear, pinky finger to mouth)
3. Start pushing the buttons on the dial of the phone (like a standard landline phone from the 80's/90's)
4. Toddler smiles and holds his hand in front of his face (palm facing)
5. Start pushing buttons, on the palm of the hand (making clucking/clicking noises)
6. Put palm of your hand up to your ear and side of your face (like todays modern cellphones and cordless phones)
7. Begin talking

When in the car driving to see your Aunty and Poppa

1. Hold hand in front of face (palm facing)
2. Start pushing buttons, on the palm of the hand (making clucking/clicking noises)
3. Put palm of your hand up to your ear and side of your face 
4. Start talking on the phone
5. Spend entire car ride to destination telling Aunty and Poppa that you're on the way and explaining the sites you are seeing e.g. "Hi Poppa, going bridge now! See you soon!"

When your nappy is being changed

1. Lie down
2. Have nappy taken off
3. Mum cleans up the mess and gets out new nappy
4. Mum asks Toddler if they want to put the baby powder on
5. Toddler puts his forefinger up in front of face (as if to say "Wait)
6. Toddler uses his "palm phone" to call his people to ask if he should put some baby powder or cream on for this nappy change
7. Toddler says "Ok, Powder. Bye!"
8. Toddler hangs up palm phone and holds his hand out for the baby powder
9. Hand Toddler baby powder and watch in amusement at the look of concentration while he puts it on
10. Take baby powder off Toddler and put away
11. Put new nappy on

When you're being read a bedtime story by Heavenly Aunty

1. Heavenly Aunty reading Toddler a bedtime story
2. Halfway through, Toddler picks up play phone (old cellphone of Mum's)
3. Heavenly Aunty stops reading while Toddler having their conversation
4. Toddler finishes conversation, looks at Heavenly Aunty as if to say "Carry on Minion"
5. Get rest of story read by Heavenly Aunty

When you want to play with the Christmas Train, but Mum said no

1. Toddler climbs up on the table to get Christmas Train controller
2. Take controller off Toddler
3. Remind Toddler "You only play with the Christmas Train when Daddy is here"
4. Take Toddler off the table and put on the floor
5. Toddler takes out his palm phone and calls Daddy
6. Toddler says "Daddy, Train. Ah huh!"
7. Toddler hangs up his palm phone and says "Daddy said Train ok Mum"
8. Toddler then goes to get controller again
9. Tell Toddler "Nice try, but Daddy needs to be here when you play"
10. Get "Aw Nuts" back from Toddler 
11. Toddler goes and plays with his cars

How To: Have a weird and annoying morning

How To: Get a blood test

1. Get to labtest
2. Sit down next to random guy (do not talk to them)
3. Get called up for blood test
4. Have blood test
5. Start to walk out when random guy says "Hi"
6. Say "Hi" back while trying to walk out the door
7. Random guy says "Do you want to go out for a drink sometime?"
8. Reply "Thanks, but I am married"
9. Random guy smirks "Are you sure? You're not wearing a ring on your finger" 
10. Reply back "Well, that's only because I don't like to risk getting poo on it when I change my Toddlers nappy."
11. Random guy steps back "Woah! You have a kid?"
12. Smile and reply "Yes. and I am Married."
13. Random guy quickly makes his excuses on having to be somewhere and walks off, finally allowing me to walk out the door
14. Get into car, lock doors and leave

How To: Post a letter

1. Drive to post office 
2. Park car
3. Silly dude parks his car next to me at an angle (taking up three spaces)
4. Awkwardly open car door (not much space because of the way the dude is parked)
5. Post letter
6. Get back to car and squeeze back in
7. Drive off and head to petrol station

How To: Fill your car up

1. Drive to petrol station
2. Hop out of the car
3. Decide that because you're in a hurry, you'll use the "pay-a-pump" feature
4. Swipe card and start payment
5. Service attendant comes up and asks if you want any help
6. Smile and reply "No thanks, I'm fine" 
7. Attendant say "Do you have flybys? You can only get them inside"
8. Reassure attendant that you know this,  but because you're in a hurry you don't want to go inside (there is a line of 5 people in there already)
9. Attendant asks if you want your windows washed
10. Reply "No thanks, I'm fine"
11. Attendant then ask if you want them to fill the car up for you
12. Reply "No thanks, I'm fine"
13. Spot a mother with two kids in tow struggling
14. Point the mother out to attendant "How about you give her a hand?" 
15. Get a "No Ma'am, I'm already helping you"
16. Grit teeth "No thanks, I'm FINE"
17. Roll eyes and start to walk to the mother to offer a hand
18. Another attendant walks up and helps the mother with her petrol
19. Walk back and look at attendant who then picks up petrol hose and starts to fill up my car
20. Stand there with arms crossed feeling awkward as the attendant fills the car up (cannot go and sit down in car as attendant is blocking the way)
21. Car is now fill
22. Attendant hangs up hose and wishes a good day
23. Stand there watching attendant in annoyance as it took TWICE as long to get the car filled up and might as well have gone inside and got the flybuys points, but it is too late now. GRRRRRRR

How To: Play with the Christmas Train around the tree

1. Toddler climbs up on table and tries to collect the controller for the Christmas train
2. Ask Toddler to get down
3. Remind Toddler they have to ask Daddy nicely if they can play with the train
4. Toddler runs up to Daddy and cups his hands around his mouth "TRAIN! TRAIN! TRAAAAAIIIIINNNNNNN! Please?" 
5. Daddy smiles and says yes, you need to get the grey controller
6. Tell Toddler that they need to get the controller that is the same colour as their grey shirt
7. Toddler gets the blue controller off the table
8. Take blue controller off Toddler and hold both that and the grey one up
9. Ask Toddler what controller is the same colour as their shirt
10. Toddler points to the blue one "That one"
11. Tell Toddler the blue one is broken
12. Toddler thinks for a bit and then points at the grey controller "That one, Use"
13. Laugh and give to Toddler to use
14. Toddler take controller and plugs everything in (with help from Mum and Dad)
15. Toddler watches with WIDE eyes as the train goes round and round the Christmas tree shouting "Train! Look! Train!"

How To: Decorate the Christmas Tree with a Toddler

1. Hubby sets up tree while Toddler having their lunch
2. Help Hubby bring decorations down from the loft
3. Decide on Red and gold decorations for the theme (as from next year onwards for a while there will be no chance of a theme!)
4. Toddler is released from their high chair
5. Toddler picks up "apple" Christmas decoration and takes a bite out of it
6. Take remainder of decoration off Toddler and throw away
7. Continue decorating tree
8. Toddler pulls down  one decoration for every two you put up
9. Toddler wants to play with the train track (there is on surrounding the tree)
10. Hubby pulls out Thomas, Annie and Clarabelle and turns it on for Toddler
11. Toddler has a go at driving Thomas
12. Hubby turns Thomas off and puts away after a good play
13. Toddler decides to crawl under the tree and pop up behind it
14. Toddler starts batting at the Christmas decorations (who needs a cat!)
15. Remove Toddler from behind the tree and tell them to leave the decorations alone
16. Repeat steps  8-15 until Christmas tree is taken down

How To: Wash the car with the Toddler's "Help"

1. Decide to wash the car (as it is a very sunny hot day)
2. Dress Toddler in their togs
3. Pull out their tub and turn on their little hose for them to fill
4. Got get the big hose and turn on
5. Use big hose to rinse the dirt off both cars (decide to wash Trusty Grandpa's car too)
6. Decide that while hose is on, might as well rinse the slide and playground to get off any bird poo
7. Watch Toddler filling up tub
8. Rinse cars some more and attach cleaning brush to hose
9. Look back at Toddler to catch them walking toward the back door...
10. Run to the tap and turn it off
11. Walk back up to Toddler and find that they have stuck the hose through the car door
12. Tell Toddler they don't need to put water inside
13. Remove the hose and open the door
14. Find a decent sized puddle  just in the door way
15. Mop up puddle and put towel down so don't slip on the semi wet floor
16. Leave back door open to help dry up the floor
17. Wash cars while Toddler plays with his water
18. Keep eye on Toddler and catch them with their watering can trying to water the towel in the doorway
19. Get bucket and brush and fill with carwash solution
20. To Toddlers joy, forget to change the setting on the hose before filling up the bucket
21. BUBBLES everywhere 
22. Watch as Toddler plays with the bubbles
23. Uses remainder of bubbles to wash rest of cars
24. Rinse the cars and go inside for lunch

How To: Take a Toddler Christmas Shopping

1. Look for a present at the garden centre
2. Before going in, go to get pram out of boot and find out that the pram is not there
3. Go get Toddler out of the car
4. Tell Toddler "Now, we are going to go into the garden centre and find something for a christmas present, you can help me find it" 
5. Discribe item to Toddler and ask them to hold hands
6. Get to the garden centre door and see that there are many things at Toddlers eye height 
7. Stop Toddler and say "Hand in your pocket please"
8. Toddler puts their hand in their pocket (and still holds on to my hand)
9. Go in and look around garden centre - find what we want, but not exactly what we are looking for
10. Leave garden centre and tell Toddler how proud I am for how well they held my hand and put their other hand in their pocket
11. Hop back into car and tell Toddler we're now going to get Daddy's Christmas Present from him, then we'll need to buy rubbish bags from mitre 10 (Toddler excited about this as there is a playground at mitre 10)
12. Go into shop and buy Hubby's present 
13. Walk back to car to put present in boot
14. Toddler puts present on head on the walk there and then puts it in the boot themselves
15. Close boot and walk to mitre 10
16. Toddler wants to go in through the trade door (near where the wood is sold)
17. Walk in trade door and while there price doweling (Need to get some for Toddler's Tent that Wonderful Granny made for his Christmas Present - I forgot the measurements didn't I?)
18. Toddler spots a Toddler Trolley
19. Toddler lets go of hand and gets trolley
20. Hold onto the parent handle of trolley to help steer 
21. Toddler wants to go through garden centre part of mitre 10 to get to the playground (the long way round)
22. Toddler pushes trolley up and around all of the garden centre
23. Toddler gets to the playground and parks the trolley
24. Toddler jumps into the ride on train and plays on the for a little bit
25. More kids go into the playground
26. Toddler follows the kids around
27. Sit and watch Toddler play follow the leader with the other kids
28. Toddler has had enough and wants to go home
29. Remind Toddler we need to get some rubbish bags
30. Toddler nods and grabs to trolley
31. Walk along (more like follow) next to Toddler
32. Toddler Decides to go down all the aisles between us and the checkouts
33. Toddler on a mission
34. Follow along with Toddler
35. Toddler stops in the cleaning aisle (brooms, mops etc)
36. Toddler stands in front of the brush and shovel sets (all the colours of the rainbow!)
37. Toddler puts on hand on hip and other on his chin
38. Toddler looks at the brush and shovel sets and goes "Hmmmm, that one"
39. Toddler picks the YELLOW set and puts into his trolley
40. Toddler says "Come on Mum!" 
41. Follow Toddler through the rest of the store watching as he tries to get things off the shelf and put into his Trolley this included: Bath mats, Dehumidifiers, brochures, boxes and even the plugs of the kitchen sink displays (I'm sure he would have tried taking the kitchen sink if they weren't attached to the wall!)
42. Go to the check out and pay for items
43. Help Toddler put Trolley back and go home

How To: Get a Toddler to wear sandals

1. Toddler loses favourite pair jandals for a week
2. Put Toddler in gumboots or let them go barefoot
3. Today - too hot for gumboots, but need Toddler to walk
4. Toddler falls asleep for an afternoon nap
5. Find a pair of sandals that Toddler has refused to wear previously
6. Put said sandals on while Toddler sleeping
7. Transfer Toddler to the car
8. While out, Toddler walking for a fair bit and walking funny as sandals are a different fit than what they are used to (also they are half asleep)
9. By end of the outing, Toddler is used to the weight and fit of sandals
10. Get home, put shopping away
11. Find favourite pair of jandals hidden in the pantry (in the potato bin of all places!)

How To: Take Toddler to their first Playgroup Christmas Party

1. Get ready for playgroup
2. Toddler lost their jandles 
3. Decide to put Toddler in gumboots instead
4. Get to playgroup - first lot of people there
5. Find out that it's a surprise Christmas party for all the kids
6. Offer to help while Toddler is on playground
7. Put up lots of Baloons
8. Find out that there will be a face painter, magician and Santa later
9. Keep an eye on Toddler
10. Other kids turn up
11. Have a chat with a few Mums and caregivers
12. Face painter turns up
13. Sit in line with Toddler watching the face painting
14. Toddler gets bored and goes off to play (we're next in line)
15. Watch Toddler play for a bit and when the line for face painting goes down, take Toddler back
16. Toddler waits for a bit then gets bored again
17. Magician turns up (it's a clown magician with a suitcase as his magic bag etc)
18. Toddler sits down and watches for a bit
19. Toddler gets bored
20. Toddler goes into Magicians Magic Suitcase
21. Toddler starts throwing items from suitcase over the back of his shoulders
22. Poor Clown Magician trying to collect items and do the show at the same time
23. I manage to finally navigate my way between all the little people between me and Toddler
24. Help collect the magical items and put away
25. Take Toddler by hand and take them back to the face painting station (no one in line now as all trying to watch the magic show)
26. Face painter decides to make Toddler a pirate
27. Toddler wiggling too much so they only manage to do a mo and a scull and cross bones on the face
28. Toddler tries to eat paint brush while mo is being painted on
29. Toddler licks off half of his mo before paint can dry
30. Toddler then runs back up to the clown magician (who is doing a slight of hand trick)
31. Clown Magician makes a squishy ball in his hands disappear, he then asks the kids where it went
32. Toddler runs up to the Clown Magician and reaches into his back pocket "Here you goes" (yes, he really pulled the squishy ball out of his back pocket and gave it back to the clown magician!)
33. Clown Magician states "Well, I haven't had that before! Thank you sausage!"
34. Other kids are laughing and tell the Clown Magician "He's not a SAUSAGE!"
35. Max says "Bye!" and goes back onto the playground leaving the poor Clown Magician to do his bit (Found out later that his name was "Popcorn the Clown")
36. After a while of playing and Popcorn the Clown going home, there is a shared lunch
37. Toddler goes inside and plays with the toys and piano in there
38. Santa turns up ("Santa" is a very young lean guy with a pillow stuffed down his front - that really looks wrong when he sits down)
39. Toddler so engrossed in playing the piano, doesn't even notice Santa at all
40. Santa sits down, has each child on his lap and hands out presents
41. I go over to Toddler when the line to Santa is almost finished and ask them "Do you want to get a present from Santa?"
42. Toddler gets down off the piano and walks round the corner to where all the other kids are sitting down in front of Santa opening and playing with their presents
43. Toddler stands there looking at all the kids presents with WIDE eyes
44. Toddler looks at me and says "WOW! Presents Mum!" 
45. I point to Santa and say "Go up to Santa, I'm sure he has a present for you too" 
46. Toddler walks up to Santa and stands next to him with hands behind his back
47. Santa says "Oh Hello! Do you want to sit on my lap and tell me what you want for Christmas" 
48. Santa reaches for Toddler to pick him up
49. Toddler steps back
50. Santa puts down his hands and says to Toddler "Ok, that's fine. You don't have to sit on my lap, but would you like a present?" 
51. Toddler stands there and looks behind Santa's chair for the present
52. As Toddler is doing that, Santa gets the present out of the present sack
53. Toddler looks back at Santa with wide eyes "THANK YOU!" 
54. Santa hands present to Toddler
55. Toddler won't take the present
56. I end up taking the present and giving it to Toddler "Thank you! Mum, go home now?" 
57. Tell Toddler we can and we head home with Toddler holding un-opened present in his hands
58. On the drive home hear Toddler say "WOW! Mum look!"
59. Pull over and look at Toddler
60. Toddler has opened his present - it's a cool set of fire fighter vehicles! (exactly the type of thing he loves to play with)
61. Get home and spend rest of afternoon watching Toddler play with his new toys

How To: Make an Christmas Advent for only $1

1. Go to the library
2. See that there is a book sale
3. Buy 6 new books from said sale (6 books for $1)
4. Get home and ask Trusty Grandpa to give Toddler a bath
5. While Toddler in bath, look through their bookshelf
6. Pick out 18 books (preferably books they haven't heard for a while or never read)
7. When Toddler in bed, wrap the 24 books up in Christmas coloured wrapping paper saved from previous years presents
8. Put aside a Christmas book (pref the grinch who stole Christmas or another christmas book - I chose "The night before Christmas)
9. Mix all the other books up so you don't know which book is which (if you want to you can number the books for each day)
10. Take one book off the pile
11. Hide the other 23 books in own bedroom for distribution on the appropriate dates
12. Place the first book on the coffee table for Toddler to find in the morning
13. The other days - hide the other books in random places each day for Toddler to find :-) 

How To: Put Vegemite on a Cruskit

1. Give Toddler cocopops and raisins for breakfast
2. Toddler eats half
3. Toddler goes into pantry
4. Toddler steps onto his box
5. Toddler picks up vegemite
6. Toddler walks around kitchen with vegemite tucked under his arm
7. Ask Toddler if they would like the vegemite on some toast
8. Toddler says "No, no toast"
9. As Toddler if they would like it on a sandwich 
10. Toddler says "No, no sa-wedge"
11. Ask Toddler if they would like it on a cruskit
12. Toddler says "Yeah!"
13. Take a cruskit out and give to Toddler to hold while getting out knife and plate
14. Toddler takes a bite of cruskit
15. Ask Toddler if they would like to put some vegemite on the cruskit
16. Toddler looks at the vegemite (that is still tucked under his arm) and the crosscut
17. Instead of handing me the crosscut and vegemite Toddler hold one in each hand and looks at them
18. Toddler then pushes the cruskit into the vegemite jar 
19. Cruskit snaps
20. Toddler then proceeds to try pushing the cruskit into the side of the vegemite jar until there are only crumbs left
21. While Toddler is doing this, giggle to self and collect more cruskits
22. Butter the cruskits and ask Toddler for vegemite
23. Put vegemite on and give to Toddler
24. Sweep up the crumbs of the original cruskit off the floor
25. Toddler eats half the cruskits
26. Toddler then goes to Grandpa and climbs up onto his lap
27. Toddler helps Grandpa finish his breakfast (cereal)

How To: Watch the Gilmore Girls "A Year in The Life"

1. Spend most of the year (along with every other Gilmore Girls fanatic) counting down the months, weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds until November 25th
2. The week of the big event, plan a BIG day for self and Toddler - Playgroup, Playdate and Botanical Gardens for a run round to burn of any extra energy
3. Wake up the morning of the event
4. It is raining - Botanical Gardens now out
5. Toddler wakes up late - Playgroup now out
6. Toddler sneezes (has woken up with a cold) - Play date gone
7. While having breakfast, try to decide how to keep Toddler busy
8. Decide to do a little bit of an outing with Toddler
9. Come home and feed Toddler dinner
10. Give Toddler cold medicine (Kiwi Herb De-Stuff) and Pamol because they have a bit of a fever 
11. Toddler falls asleep in donut around 7pm
12. Transfer Toddler to bed
13. Sit down and tune into Netflix
14. Realise that even though it's the 25th November in New Zealand, it may not be in USA
15. Check Google for time zone difference - it's the 25th in some places in the states and not in others
16. Face palm - of course they have NINE different time zones
17. Moan about having to wait even more longer on Facebook
18. A lovely WONDERFUL friend shares a link that says it starts at 9pm in New Zealand
19. Get very excited
20. Sit down and read book for a while
21. 9pm comes - WINTER time!!!!
22. Get halfway through Winter and Toddler wakes up
23. Put computer aside and comfort Toddler
24. Give bottle and sit with Toddler for a little while until they are asleep again
25. Finish Winter and get 20 minutes into SPRING
26. Toddler wakes up again
27. Put computer aside and check on Toddler 
28. Check Toddler's temperature - slightly raised
29. Give Toddler Pamol and sit with them until they are asleep again
30. Watch Spring for another 20 minutes or so
31. Toddler wakes up
32. Toddler unable to be settled
33. Get Toddler up for some cuddles
34. Abandon idea of being able to watch Gilmore Girls (for now)
35. After cuddles on the couch, another bottle of milk and copious amounts of Paw Patrol, Dora, Bubble Guppies and Fireman Sam - Toddler finally falls asleep at Midnight
36. Transfer Toddler to bed
37. Sit down to finish watching Spring
38. Hubby comes home from night out - wants to use the computer
39. Comply and have a chat with them about their day and evening out
40. Hubby goes to bed 
41. Sit down and spend next few quiet hours watching the rest of Spring then onto SUMMER and FALL
42. Enjoy the whole experience 
43. As the credits roll for Fall, sit for a few moments in a daze thinking about all the wonderful one liners
44. Remember that even though you'd LOVE to share them (and the last four words) and discuss in detail with friends - There are still friends and other people in the world who may not see the series for a while
45. Look at the time and realise that it's 4.45am
46. Check on Toddler (they're fine, sleeping comfortably)
47. Head to bed
48. Toddler comes into bedroom at 6am
49. Have sleepy cuddles with Toddler
50. Get overheated between Toddler and Hubby
51. Get up out of bed, cover Toddler up (who is now sleeping happily on your side of the bed)
52. Stumble half asleep to Toddler's bed - flop in and fall asleep
53. Get woken up by Hubby saying bye at 8am 
54. Hubby says to go back to sleep as Toddler is still sleeping
55. Start to go back to sleep, but Toddler wakes up as front and side gate are closed by Hubby
56. Get up and stumble to bedroom and get Toddler up
57. Feed Toddler breakfast
58. Make own breakfast and HEAPS of Coffee - Where oh where is my coffee in an IV???
59. Spend most of the morning feeling like a zombie and wondering if going to be able to cope with the day 
60. Remind self that all this was self inflicted and would probably do it all again (so worth it!) 

How To: Get your Toddler to Eat their Dinner

1. Make teriyaki chicken stir fry for dinner
2. Serve up dinner
3. Put Toddler in high chair
4. Toddler looks at food and doesn't want it
5. Eat own dinner while encouraging Toddler to eat theirs
6. Finish own dinner and sits down next to Toddler
7. Try to get Toddler to eat
8. Try the "airplane spoon" method
9. Toddler refuses and starts crying
10. Toddler asks for "P!" (L&P)
11. Bribe Toddler with a little L&P if they eat their dinner (Toddler doesn't usually have fizzy drinks, as reserved for special treats, and in this case obviously bribery) 
12. Toddler eats a piece of chicken
13. Give Toddler a sip of L&P
14. Toddler eats and other piece of chicken
15. Give Toddler sip of L&P
16. Toddler spits chicken out
17. Take L&P away
18. Try giving Toddler some rice
19. Toddler takes fork and looks like they will put it in their mouth
20. Rice ends up back into bowl
21. Toddler wants the rest of L&P 
22. Tell Toddler they need to eat their dinner for the L&P
23. Toddler gets even more upset
24. To stop Toddler from getting too wound up, remove L&P and teriyaki chicken and put in the kitchen
25. Remove Toddler from high chair
26. Toddler goes and lies in their donut 
27. Toddler calls out of milk
28. Tell Toddler they need to eat their dinner first
29. Toddler still upset
30. Decide to abandon teriyaki chicken and heat up last nights Mac n cheese (Toddlers favourite)
31. Put mac n cheese on high chair and ask Toddler to eat their dinner
32. Toddler cries and climbs onto the table
33. Decide to change tactics and allow Toddler to eat at table, regardless of mess that may occur
34. Toddler looks at mac n cheese and says "No! NO! MILK!" 
35. Ask Toddler to eat some of the mac n cheese - "Only a little bit darling, then you can have some milk" 
36. Smile at Toddler
37. Toddler gets down off the table and runs into the lounge 
38. Toddler finds empty clean bottle in the lounge (they must have got into the bottle drawer earlier and played with it) 
39. Toddler lies in donut and tries to drink out of the bottle
40. Toddler realises that bottle is empty and throws it away in disgust
41. Toddler climbs up onto lap for a cuddle
42. After a little while when Toddler is calmed down ask them if they are ready to try eating dinner
43. Toddler gets down and walks into kitchen
44. Follow Toddler with mac n cheese bowl in hand
45. Toddler starts pulling the plastic containers out of the panty to clear the potato box (he likes to sit on this)
46. See that perhaps Toddler will eat dinner if they are sitting on the box
47. Offer dinner to Toddler again
48. Toddler gets upset again, this time with real tears
49. Try to give Toddler a hug again
50. Toddler pushes away
51. Put bowl of mac n cheese into a plastic container on the floor 
52. Decide to wait it out, and lie down on kitchen floor with hands behind head, looking up and try to make out shapes in the popcorn ceiling to pass the time
53. After about five minutes Toddler looks over and stops crying
54. Toddler decides to come and sit on my stomach and cuddle my knees
55. Toddler then wipes face on knees and gets up (snot and tears are now covering my pants)
56. Toddler gets L&P drink off the bench and walks back
57. Toddler sits down on my stomach and sips L&P
58. Toddler picks up bowl and proceeds to eat half of the mac n cheese while still sitting on my stomach
59. Ask Toddler if they are enjoying dinner
60. Toddler responds by trying to feed me a fork full of mac n cheese and broccoli 
61. Fork contents fall on my face, down my top and on the floor next to my head
62. Crack up laughing, making Toddler bounce around
63. Toddler puts bowl on bench with L&P and says "Milk Mum"
64. Praise Toddler and thank them for putting their food on the bench and eating some of their dinner
65. Make some Toddler formula up 
66. Give to Toddler, who is in donut
67. Toddler drains bottle very quickly, lets out a big burp, lies down and goes to sleep
68. Pick up Toddler
69. Change nappy
70. Put Toddler to bed
71. Go back to lounge and tidy up
72. Sit down and think about how even though Toddler got his milk in the end, I still managed to get him to eat something, so it's a little win. 
73. Pick up L&P cup and realise that at most Toddler only had 3-4 sips. another little win 
74. Tip L&P down the kitchen sink and sit down for a quiet evening of reading and writing 

How To: Make a seat out of practically anything you come across...

This is a list of different things my Toddler has found to use as a seat, I am sure that I have forgotten a few, but I will add to this as I remember and as it occurs :-P

1. The potato bin in the pantry (it's one of his favourites to use while I'm in the kitchen cleaning and/or cooking)
2. A small book shelf that he empties of all it's books and carries it from his bedroom to the lounge and uses as a stool
3. The Cat Door - he can no longer fit out it, (besides his head) but he likes to stick his bum out the flap/hole and sit on the ledge
4. His toy box - he falls into it and sits down to read a book etc
5. Tiny Random box - I'm so sure this boy thinks he is a cat at times! (other things that have made him resemble a cat are: Climbing into the kitchen cupboards, climbing into the T.V. cabinet and climbing into a toy cabinet at his aunty's house)
6. Throwing all of the books off the top of his red shelf in his bedroom and sitting on that to read his books (never mind the little toddler arm chair I bought for him and put in his room for this purpose!) Photo below shows the little shelf he uses as a stool, and the red shelf he sits on. This photo is the only time he actually sat in this chair to read!
7. Grandpa's Foot (He actually lifted up Grandpa's foot, rested it on the coffee table and then straddled it to sit on)
8. The bottom branches of the Christmas Tree
9. The oven door... (It was off, and he was chanting "Toast! Toast! Toast!")
10. The nappy bin (with the washing hamper on top)

How To: Give yourself a pedicure when you have a Toddler

1. Give Toddler a bath
2. While Toddler playing in bath, sit on edge of bath
3. Put feet into the bath to soak
4. Get St. Ives body scrub
5. Use scrub on feet
6. Get out of bath with Toddler
7. Dry and Dress Toddler
8. Cook Dinner
9. Eat Dinner
10. Clip and shape toenails
11. Put Toddler to bed
12. Paint Toe nails
13. Put lotion on feet and go to bed

How To: Have every Mum freak out at playgroup (and appreciate that it could have been so much worse)

1. Take Toddler to playgroup
2. Get there 15 minutes too early (gate locked)
3. Decide to go for a quick walk around the block with Toddler until it's time to play
4. Get back in time open gate
5. Release the Toddler!
6. Keep a eye on Toddler from a respectable distance while catching up with other Mum's at playgroup
7. Take turns keeping an eye on each others kids while helping out with different duties
8. Watch Toddler go down slide
9. Toddler runs to a toy truck and begins to load the back with random bits around play area
10. Toddler rides truck around
11. Toddler spots wheel barrow 
12. Toddler loads items from truck into wheel barrow
13. Toddler takes the wheel barrow for a spin around the play area then puts it down
14. Watch Toddler run to the bike shed
15. Toddler grabs a toy shopping card
16. Watch Toddler wiz around with shopping card
17. Look over at other kids and see FOUR pushing and riding a go-cart-trolley type toy
18. Look back to Toddler and realise all five are on a collision course
19. Freese in horror as too far away to do anything (other Mums are also too far away)
20. Watch as toy shopping cart misses the kid in the front, but smacks into the main part of the go-cart
21. Sprint with every ounce of held back energy (along with other Mums) to the carnage 
22. Toddler has landed on their back, with their legs UNDER the front wheels of go-cart-trolley and is NOT moving, crying or screaming... 
23. Look at Toddlers face - eyes wide open, looking at me with a smile on his face
24. Glance up at other Mums and kids who are now saying things like "Oh! My GOD! Is he OK?!"
25. Kneel next to Toddler and with Superhuman Mummy Strength lift the go-cart-trolley off their legs (So sure would not have been able to lift it up in usual circumstances) 
26. Toddler rolls over and stands up
27. Give Toddler a quick hug and ask them if they hurt anywhere (while checking over with own hands for anything broken)
28. Toddler replies with "Fun Mum!" 
29. Look at Toddler in disbelief as they remove themselves from the hug, pick up overturned trolley and carry on running around with it 
30. Notice that Toddler is walking/running fine
31. Have a quick look at other kids and ask their Mum's if anyone else was hurt
32. Other Mum's reassure that Toddler was the only one really in any danger and ask if I am OK
33. Take deep breath and nod, realising that it could have been so much worse
34. Spend rest of playgroup keeping firm eye on Toddler (who is crashing and bashing about as if nothing happened) and thanking lucky stars for such a laid back kid
35. Other Mums come over and have a quick chat and comment on how their kid would have screamed and they themselves would have been a mess if that happened to them
36. Assure the other Mums that if something was wrong or Toddler had been hurt, I'd have been a mess too and Toddler would have told us that it hurt
37. Quietly think to self - for a moment there when frozen, the heart dropped and skipped a beat
38. Get home and feed Toddler lunch, only then to realise that knees and bottom half of jeans are damp and covered in a little mud
39. Later while having afternoon tea, find out that at another child care facility, a three year old boy died in an accident on the playground
40. Sit stunned and think about how devastated the parents must be
41. Pull Toddler a little closer for a cuddle and hold him tight - today could have turned out so much different. 

My heart goes out to the family of the little boy who died in today's accident. I am so sorry for your loss and I am thinking of you and your little angel. 

How To: Feed your Toddler a Banana

1. Start cooking dinner
2. Toddler wants a Banana
3. Decide that it can't hurt as it's healthy
4. Peel last Banana for Toddler
5. Mutter under breath "I guess we'll be taking apples to playgroup tomorrow"
6. Toddler now wants an apple instead
7. Try to convince Toddler to eat peeled banana
8. Toddler still wants apple
9. Open fridge and get apple out for Toddler
10. Take a bite of banana
11. Decide not to eat rest of banana
12. Cut up banana and add pear, banana and custard yogurt in a bowl
13. Put bowl aside for Toddlers dessert
14. Continue cooking dinner
15. Collect two carrots out of the fridge to cut up for dinner
16. Stand in kitchen looking at recipe while holding carrots
17. Toddler now wants a carrot
18. Give Toddler one carrot and collect another from the fridge
19. Start peeling and cutting carrots
20. Meanwhile, Toddler is insisting Daddy and Grandpa each have a bit of his carrot
21. Toddler comes into kitchen and wants Mummy to bite the carrot too
22. Mis-hear Toddler and take carrot and start cutting
23. Toddler says "NO! BITE!"
24. Finally understand Toddler and take a bite out of carrot
25. Give carrot back to Toddler
26. Continue cooking dinner
27. Toddler starts playing in the panty
28. Ask Toddler to go back into the lounge with Daddy and Grandpa
29. Toddler holding apple in one hand and carrot in another toddles back into lounge
30. Finish making dinner and serve up
31. Put smiley face in tomato sauce on Toddlers dinner 
32. Toddler smiles and says "Circle!"
33. Halfway through dinner, it starts raining
34. Toddler, in-between bites keeps saying "Raining!"
35. After dinner, Daddy takes Toddler out to play in the rain and puddles
36. Toddler has a ball, but is now tired from all the running around
37. Give Toddler warm shower and put to bed
38. Banana and yoghurt is forgotten in the fridge

How To: Weed the garden on a windy day

1. Ask Toddler if they want to check the mail
2. Toddler holds hand and walks to mail box
3. Check mail box - discover it is empty
4. Toddler wants to play out the front
5. Chase Toddler around for a bit
6. Toddler decides to sit down on front deck
7. Toddler wants Mummy to sit down too
8. Toddler pants the deck on the right of him for Mum to sit down 
9. Look at spot next to Toddler and tell them that Mummy's bottom isn't that small
10. Toddler looks at spot and stands up
11. Toddler walks a fair few steps along and sits back down
12. "Sit Mum, sit!"
13. Laugh and tell Toddler "Mummy's bottom isn't that big!" 
14. Sit down and Toddler comes in for a cuddle
15. Sit on deck and watch the cars go by
16. While sitting there, notice there are a few new weeds in the garden
17. Start weeding
18. Notice it's starting to get a little windy
19. Wind blows dirt into eyes
20. Decide to weed further along
21. Continue to weed and make pile of weeds on driveway 
22. Toddler runs around and decides to help
23. Toddler grabs handfuls of dirt (not weeds) from the garden and starts making his own pile on the deck
24. Ask Toddler to pull the weeds instead
25. Toddler starts pulling weeds and puts them on his pile of dirt
26. When Toddler walks back to garden to do more weeding, the wind blows his pile away
27. Decide that with the wind, it's enough gardening for today
28. Ask Toddler to help with collecting the wheel barrow
29. Put Toddler in wheel barrow and give them a ride to the front garden where the pile of weeds were
30. Come into front garden to find both Toddler's and own pile of weeds have blown over the garden and front lawn
31. Make it into a race/game to collect the weeds and put into the wheel barrow (Toddler wins)
32. Put Toddler on top of weeds and push wheel barrow to weed pile out back
33. Empty wheel barrow and head back inside for afternoon tea
34. Discover itchy arms and realise within the weeds there was something that causes allergies
35. Check on Toddler - they're fine 
36. Take antihistamine and hope it works!

How To: Serve Yeast Spread Roulette for Breakfast

1. Make cereal for Toddlers breakfast
2. Toddler takes two bites and decides they want toast
3. Ask Toddler what they would like on the toast
4. Toddler gets out footstool and selects Marmite, Vegemite and Bovril 
5. Get butter out of the fridge
6. Give Toddler two pieces of bread
7. Lift Toddler up to put them in the toaster (the bread, not the Toddler)
8. Toddler puts bread in toaster and pushes down leaver
9. Put Toddler down and watch them dance around the kitchen singing "Toast! Toast! TOAST!"
10. Toast pops
11. Collect toast and start putting spreads on
12. Cut into squares and mix them up on the plate - yeast spread roulette!
13. Put Toddlers second breakfast onto the table and watch as Toddler takes their time choosing
14. Toddler takes one bite out of each piece of toast and wants no more
15. Take dishes into the kitchen
16. Make coffee and drink
17. Notice that Toddler needs a nappy change
18. Open nappy and find not only had Toddler done poos, they have also shoved a piece of toast in there
19. Finish changing nappy and have a laugh at Toddlers own version of yeast spread roulette...

How To: Feed the Cat

1. Toddler opens pantry door
2. Usual cat food container is empty
3. Toddler picks up new cat food box
4. Toddler finds new bowl for cat
5. Toddler walks around kitchen with bowl in one hand and cat food box in the other
6. Toddler finally decides on where to put the bowl down to feed the cat (next to the washing machine)
7. Toddler starts shaking the box to get cat food out (Box is not open)
8. Toddler looks at box for a bit
9. Toddler thinks about how to open the box
10. Toddler starts shaking box more forcefully 
11. No cat food is coming out of the box
12. Toddler looks confused
13. Toddler shrugs shoulders
14. Toddler puts box down on top of bowl, nods his head and walks away
15. Did I mention - the cat is nowhere in sight?

How To: Feel validated as a parent

1. Have a 10am appointment at the Drs
2. Get there 5 minutes early
3. Toddler goes straight for toys in play area
4. Sit down next to play area to keep eye on Toddler
5. 10am comes and goes - Dr is running late
6. Toddler manages to keep themselves occupied with the toys until about 10.30am
7. Toddler decides they are now finished playing with the toys and wants to explore
8. Spend next 10-15 minutes entertaining Toddler and stopping them from leaving waiting room
9. FINALLY get called into Dr appointment at 10.50am
10. Walk into Dr's office and show Toddler new toys
11. Sit down for 5 minutes and discuss with Dr medical issues
12. Toddler has finished with toys, now wants to explore drawers and shelves
13. Spend next 10 minutes wrangling Toddler and talking with Dr re: medical issues
14. Dr makes a comment "Perhaps a parenting course may help you with Toddler? There is one that has runs in the area and it is designed for the problem and challenging years"
15. Take deep breath and tell Dr "Thank you, but I think we're doing ok" 
16. Dr hums and hars and says "Well, he's a handful - you might just want some extra help in this area"
17. Explain to Dr that even though Toddler is a handful at times, it is manageable and fine if we take the time to talk and listen to Toddler when we want results (instead of just demanding and expecting them to "obey")
18. Dr. still looks doubtful
19. Thank Dr again for their concern and then turn back to Toddler who is now lying under the Dr's bed
20. Dr then says "Well, other children don't do that - he's a bit much"
21. Take deep breath and remind the Dr that Toddler is 2 years old and the appointment was meant to be at 10am - NOT 10.50am. Point out to Dr that Toddler was fine and very well behaved until 10.30am and naturally after waiting for so long, was bored and wanted to get up and move. 
22. Dr. looks uncomfortable, and mutters something about the appointment being over and the mess of toys that Toddler has left
23. Smile at Dr and thank them for the appointment
24. Turn to Toddler (who is still under Dr's bed) and talk to them nicely "Darling, we are finished here now. Can you please pick up the toys and put them away? After that we can get in the car and go home"
25. Dr silently watches Toddler pick up toy and says "Well, why wasn't he listening to you before?"
26. Quickly explain to Dr. (again) that because Toddler was asked nicely to do something - he was happy to listen and do what was asked (not to mention once the toys were away they knew they would be going in the car away from this "boring place"and annoying Dr)
27. Smile at Dr again and praise Toddler for being a good boy and tidying up the toys
28. Ask Toddler for their hand - Toddler obliges 
29. Allow Toddler to open the door
30. Say bye to Dr. and head towards reception
31. Allow Toddler to hold onto phone while paying for appointment
32. Pay for appointment
33. Ask for phone back and to hold Toddlers hand again
34. Toddler happily holds hand and skips along back to the car
35. Put Toddler into the car (without any hassles, thank you very much.)
36. Head home and tell Hubby and Father-in-law what went on with Dr
37. Both reassure me that I did a good job and that the Dr just doesn't have a clue in this case
38. Spend next few days second guessing self each time talking with Toddler
39. Receive letter in the post from Dr - it is information about parenting course they recommended
40. Read through information on parenting course and see that it is designed for "Problem children that have behavioural issues and are challenging"
41. Rip up form and throw in rubbish bin - Toddler is a handful, but does not fit into the examples that were put into information pack
42. Spend next few days feeling inadequate as a parent - even though things are working and friends and family are saying that Toddler is doing well
43. Friday comes - it is wiggle and rhyme time at the library
44. Toddler is in "one of those moods"
45. Expect to have to chase Toddler around library 
46. Once at the library, explain to Toddler they need to stay in the wiggle and rhyme circle
47. At times when Toddler wants to leave the circle, ask them "Do you want to go for a walk?" (this is short for "If you don't stay in the circle - we are going to leave the library and there will be no more wiggle and rhyme time today") 
48. Toddler listens and shakes their head "No, I stay"
49. Smile at Toddler and say "There you go, have fun" 
50. Spend rest of wiggle and rhyme time enjoying watching a little boy have fun dancing to music
51. At end of wiggle and rhyme have a few parents come up and praise Toddler for being a good boy and listening to his Mum (Proud Mummy Moment!) 
52. Also have one parent come up and explain how impressed they are with Toddler and how nice they were to the younger toddlers and babies - at one point in particular: One of the younger toddlers had stood on Toddler's hand. Toddler stopped moving and waited patiently for the younger toddler to step back off his hand. After younger toddler had moved, Toddler shook hand and carried on. The other parent was impressed with how patient Toddler was and how he didn't cry or push the younger toddler who had stood on his hand (I had seen this and as soon as Toddler came to me after, had told him that Mummy was so proud of him being nice to the younger toddler and kissed his hand)
53. After parents disperse, put Toddler into pushchair and leave library
54. Go into a few shops
55. Have the shop owners praise Toddler for being good and well behaved
56. Get told by said shop owners that there had been some nightmare children in before, and it was refreshing to have a well behaved child 
57. Smile and thank shop owners, but point out that other children were probably just as well behaved, but were having an off day today (feel pleased with self for pointing this out and feel for the other Mum)
58. Go home and remind self that there will always be someone who has a bad opinion on how you do things and there will be good days and bad, but as long as you are happy with how things are going you're doing fine. 

Note: I have changed Dr's since then and they have a shorter waiting time, see you next if the person before you is more then 5 minutes late (they get your spot). They were also very understanding with Toddler "just being a boy" and told me that even though he is a handful, he is 2 years old and its a stage thing and nothing to worry about. Validation confirmed!

How To: Collect Lavender Flowers

1. See Trusty Grandpa trimming the lavender bush
2. Decide to collect some of the flowers to dry and use for future crafts/gifts etc
3. Go inside and collect plastic jug from pantry
4. Come out and start putting flowers into jug
5. Toddler wants their own jug too
6. Toddler runs into house to get own jug
7. Start to follow Toddler and hear a scream from Toddler
8. Run inside and Toddler is walking out of the kitchen upset
9. Toddler cries "Mess!" 
10. Pick Toddler up and look in the kitchen
11. Toddler has some how dropped the large pryrex jug (that is meant to be shatterproof) onto the floor and the glass is now EVERYWHERE
12. Carry Toddler back into lounge and put on couch
13. Conduct closer inspection of Toddler to make sure they aren't hurt
14. Toddler fine, more upset about the mess that has been made
15. Calm Toddler down and tell them that they are not in trouble - it was an accident 
16. Toddler still upset "Clean up mess! I help!"
17. Give Toddler hug and tell them that Mummy will clean up the mess and thank them for offering to help
18. Toddler wants to ride his bike now
19. Take Toddler outside and ask Trusty Grandpa to keep an eye on them while shattered glass is being cleaned up
20. Toddler happily goes outside on his bike and helps Grandpa
21. Go back inside and pick up broom
22. Remove wrapping on broom (it is new as Hubby ran over the last one with his car)
23. Start sweeping glass up into a pile
24. Pick up everything else on the bottom of the panty and give a thorough rinse - put aside for washing
25. Pick up bread maker and sweep under
26. Discover some cans of food have been put into the bread maker by the Toddler
27. Put cans away on can shelf 
28. Go to laundry cupboard for brush and shovel
29. Move pantry door out of the way first (party door came off last night and need to fix it)
30. Open laundry cupboard and get out brush and shovel
31. Go to kindling box and collect old newspapers
32. Sweep shattered glass onto newspapers 
33. Wrap glass up and put into rubbish bin
34. Pull out vacuum cleaner and vacuum bottom of pantry and rest of kitchen floor
35. Put vacuum away
36. Tidy bench and discover a shard of glass
37. Spend next ten minutes checking other surfaces and pantry shelves for random pieces of glass
38. Find no more shards
39. Go back outside to collect lavender flowers with the Toddler - who now has his own plastic jug to put his flowers in

How To: Wake up in your OWN bed

1. Have a morning out with Toddler at the chemist
2. Go food shopping with the Toddler
3. Come home and after lunch decide to do some gardening
4. Put Toddler to bed at 8.30pm 
5. Scratch that, put Toddler to bed at 9.30pm with a bottle of formula
6. Stay up until 1am having a little bit of adult time (reading a favourite book you didn't get to read during the day)
7. Go to bed
8. Get woken up by Hubby's alarm for work at 5am
9. Have a nice chat with Hubby while he gets ready for work
10. Listen to Hubby's car drive off
11. Lie in bed considering whether to get up or go back to sleep
12. Toddler wakes up
13. Get up for the day

How To: Go to the Chemist with the Toddler

1. Wake up in Toddlers bed (because Toddler slept in your bed last night)
2. Get up and check on Toddler 
3. Toddler still sleeping
4. Check time - 6am
5. Toss up between getting ready for the day or going to lay down on Hubby's side of the bed for a little while - Bed wins
6. Wake up at 7.30am to Toddler's smile "Daddy work?"
7. Answer, "Yes, Daddy's at work"
8. Toddler gives kiss and says "Breakfast!"
9. Get up and follow Toddler to the lounge
10. Put Sesame Street on for Toddler while making breakfast
11. Give Toddler bottle and their breakfast
12. Sit down and read while eating own breakfast
13. Sesame Street finishes
14. Toddler turns T.V. off and starts playing with cars
15. Start smelling something funky
16. Ask Toddler if they have done poos
17. Toddler answers "Nope, no poos"
18. Ask Toddler "Are you sure? Or is it just a very stinky fart?"
19. Toddler grins and looks so proud of themselves "YEAH!
20. Check nappy to be extra sure - Toddler was right, it was a very stinky fart.
21. Trusty Grandpa gets up
22. Make Coffee for Trusty Grandpa 
23. Have shower while Trusty Grandpa keeps an eye on the Toddler
24. Get dressed and then dress Toddler in record time
25. Put a load of washing on then hang it up
26. Trusty Grandpa gives Toddler a ride around the backyard on the wheelbarrow
27. Toddler jumps off wheelbarrow and scraps back
28. Trusty Grandpa calms Toddler down
29. Put "Magic Cream" on Toddler to help back feel better (antiseptic cream that "sparkles")
30. Put Toddler in car - get reminded by Toddler to put seatbelt on 
31. Give Trusty Grandpa a lift to the train station
32. Carry on to Dr's appointment for Toddler (Seeing the Dr for other conditions, but might as well get the back checked out too)
33. Wait in Dr's waiting room watch Toddler play with the toys 
34. Be amused with Toddler handing the toys out for other patients to hold
35. Stop Toddler from running up the hallway
36. Stop Toddler from running out open main doors
37. Stop Toddler from going behind reception
38. Stop Toddler from running into the nurses office
39. Follow Toddler to the scales and watch Toddler weigh themselves (13.4kgs!)
40. Stop toddler from running out the main doors again
41. Be called by the Dr for appointment follow Dr into their office carrying Toddler in a fireman's hold
42. Be assured by Dr that Toddler is just being a normal Toddler - bumps and bruises etc etc
43. Leave Dr's and go to the chemist for scripts given by Dr
44. Decide to walk from car instead of using stroller
45. Toddler does a very good job of holding hands and give script over to the chemist
46. Be advised by chemist it is a 10 minute wait
47. Toddler says "Dogs?"
48. Nod to Toddler and say "Yes, we'll go see the dogs while we're waiting" (usually go to the pet store next door and have a look around while waiting for scripts)
49. Go to the pet store and find only one puppy, a bearded dragon, a mouse, a few birds and lots of fish
50. Walk past the mice section and Toddler is amused to watch a mouse on an exercise wheel
51. Check time - script will be ready
52. Tell Toddler need to buy flea and worming treatment for the cat
53. Walk to counter, one lady being served so wait in line
54. Toddler decides to lay down on the floor
55. Other counter opens up - pick Toddler up and walk towards counter
56. A lady jumps in front and buys dog food and starts asking heaps of questions
57. Look back to other counter - another person is now in line
58. Decide to wait in current line
59. Toddler wants to be put down
60. Put Toddler down
61. Toddler runs off to look at the fish
62. Chase after Toddler and hope that they don't knock anything off the shelves as they are now being an "plane" with their arms stretched out to the sides (by some miracle they don't knock anything off!)
63. Catch up with Toddler as they suddenly change direction
64. Miss grabbing Toddler by a hairs breath
65. Toddler has noticed the bearded dragon
66. Toddler wants to get the bearded dragon out of its cage
67. Stop Toddler from trying to open the cage
68. Toddler runs off to other end of the store
69. Catch up to Toddler again and carry them back to the counters - which now are free!
70. Sit Toddler on counter and order items needed - Hold Toddler with one hand
71. Be told the price will be $90!
72. Ask for a cheeper option 
73. Manage to get the price down to $75... 
74. Start to pay when the cashier asks if you want to join the pet store club - "It will only take 5 minutes"
75. Look at her with eyebrows raised, take a breath to answer and bite tongue 
76. Decide to just point to Toddler and smile (Toddler is now laying on counter with legs up in the air)
77. Cashier smiles back - "Are you sure? There are many benefits to having the card..."
78. Cut the Cashier off and say "Thank you but no. I know you're just doing your job, but for future reference, most parents that have their hands full with a Toddler... don't have 5 minutes to fill in forms" Smile again and hold up card ready to pay
79. Cashier scans items in, pay with card and give bag to Toddler to hold
80. Walk out door holding firmly onto Toddlers hand
81. Enter the chemist again to collect script
82. There is a line of people there - 5 people long
83. Wait in line with Toddler
84. Toddler decides to lie down again
85. Pick Toddler up and nod at the other mothers giving you "The Knowing Smile"
86. Collect script after much wriggling from the Toddler
87. Nice chemist gives Toddler their own "card" to hold
88. Manage to walk out of chemist with Toddler holding hand and not touching things on the shelves 

How To: Get Monkey from the footwell

1. Toddler kicks off shoes and socks and throw Monkey down into the footwell to keep them company
2. Toddler sits in the car quietly until on the motorway in peak hour traffic
3. Toddler calls out and says "Monkey!" 
4. Look around, spot Monkey in the footwell 
5. Put right hand behind seat and try to pick up Monkey (Grandpa is driving)
6. Can't reach Monkey, so try using left hand to pick him up
7. Somehow wedge thumb somewhere within the seat, bending back the nail
8. Quickly pull thumb back and put into mouth (it really hurt!)
9. Pull thumb out of mouth and inspect the damage - no blood but has the start of a bruise
10. Tell Toddler "Sorry Buddy, you'll have to wait until we're home (there is no safe place to pull over)
11. Toddler gets upset and yells "MONKEY!" 
12. Spend next ten minutes trying to calm and distract Toddler
13. Stop talking and hope that Toddler will calm themselves down (or fall asleep)
14. Black Eyed Peas "I got a feeling" comes on the radio
15. "Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it and do it..." is sung by the Black Eyed Peas
16. Toddler is still crying - stops for a moment and listens to the radio
17. Toddler calls out "NO! Don't do it!" over and over again while the song is on
18. By the end of the song, able to move car off the motorway and pull over
19. Get out the car and pick up Monkey
20. Give Monkey to Toddler and get rewarded by a beaming smile "Monkey"
21. Carry on driving home with a quiet, content Toddler in the back

How To: Eat a free apple from countdown

1. Take Toddler to the supermarket
2. Toddler chooses trolley we will use
3. Walk into the supermarket and stop next to the "Free Fruit for Kids" basket
4. Ask Toddler if they want an apple or a banana
5. Toddler answers "Apple!"
6. Go to pick up apple and Toddler shakes head 
7. Proceed to point to all the apples in the basket until Toddler says "Yes! Apple!"
8. Pick up chosen apple and give to Toddler
9. Toddler peels off the stickers and says "Rubbish!" 
10. Put stickers in the rubbish bin provided 
11. Grab plastic bag to put apple in when Toddler is finished eating apple
12. Continue through supermarket with Toddler nibbling on the apple
13. Get to the milk aisle and Toddler drops the apple on the floor
14. Go to pick the apple up but an old lady whizzes by with her trolley
15. Old lady kicks apple out from beneath her trolley
16. A man is coming the other way - he goes over the apple with his trolley and kicks it along
17. Another trolley comes down the aisle and to Toddlers joy they also kick the apple across the aisle 
18. Apple then lands at the feet of another child 
19. Toddler yells out "APPLE!" 
20. Other child kicks the apple towards us
21. Pick up apple off the floor and put into plastic bag
22. Toddler wants apple
23. Explain to Toddler that they can't have the apple as it fell on the floor - put it in the main part of the trolley to throw in the bin at the door later
24. Old man walks past and says "the floor won't have too many germs on it, let him have the apple"
25. Try not to roll eyes and explain to old man that the apple not only touched the floor, but other peoples shoes while being kicked from one end of the aisle to the other...
26. Old man says "So? he's a boy - he'll be touching worst things and putting them in his mouth"
27. Give a laugh and politely thank old man "This may be true, but not when I can do something about it..."
28. Old man walks off shaking his head 
29. Shake own head and walk to check out, start putting stuff on the counter
30. Old lady (who initially kicked the apple) is in front and looks at me and the Toddler "You didn't give that apple back to him? It was on the floor!"
31. Turn round and sure enough Toddler has some how (in the few seconds it took to turn back to them to put food on the counter) reached into the back of the trolley and not only picked the apple up, but pulled it out of the bag and is now eating it! 
32. Toddler then looks up and smiles "Apple!" 
33. *face palm*
34. Ask Toddler for apple nicely and put back into plastic bag
35. Hold onto rubbish apple and re-explain to Toddler the apple is now rubbish because it fell on the floor
36. Pay for food and throw apple in the bin on the way out
37. Toddler says "Bye Apple. Rubbish" and nods
38. Have a little laugh to self, pack car, put Toddler in car seat and head home

How To: Go Food Shopping with the Toddler

1. Pull up to supermarket and park next to trolley bay (easier at the end of shopping to unload and leave)
2. Open Door for Toddler and undo their seatbelt
3. Toddler says "Jump!" 
4. Hold onto Toddler's hand and say "Woah!" as they jump out of the car 
5. Toddler smiles and says "Yay! Jump!"
6. Get asked by trolley boy what's wrong
7. Reassure trolley boy that everything is ok, it was just a big jump for the Toddler
8. Say bye to trolley boy and tell Toddler to look for cars - then as no cars, cross the road
9. Tell Toddler they were so good with holding Mummy's hand
10. Walk with Toddler to trolley garage and ask them to pick a trolley
11. Toddler wants the baby seat trolley
12. Explain to Toddler that the baby seats need to be left for the little babies - point of the other trolleys that he can pick out
13. Toddler chooses another trolley and says "RED!"
14. Notice that the seat belt is red and praise Toddler "Yes! it's red, well done darling"
15. Buckle Toddler in and go into the supermarket
16. Go through the fruit and vegetable area and stop next to the basket that says "Free Fruit for Kids" (this is an awesome idea BTW - well done Countdown!)
17. Ask Toddler if they would like a Banana, an Apple or a Mandarin 
18. Toddler points to the mandarin and says "MAN! Man-din" 
19. Pick mandarin up, collect a plastic bag for the skin and unwanted pieces and give to Toddler
20. Toddler tries to open the mandarin but the skin is a bit tough on this one - offer to open instead
21. Toddler passes mandarin over and you open it for them
22. Hand it back and Toddler holds onto the mandarin for a while are you go around the supermarket 
23. As going down each aisle, tell Toddler the different things that you need that are on the list - Toddler points out where each item is
24. Get to the bread aisle and collect burger buns for dinner that night (chicken burgers) and go to the gluten free rack and discover that there are no gluten free burger buns
25. Decide to grab gluten free wraps and have those instead of a burger
26. Get to the frozen chicken aisle and discover that there is no gluten free chicken patties or tenders
27. While searching the freezers for something that you can eat that won't break the bank, you sense Toddler stand up
28. Turn round in time to catch Toddler standing up on the seat in the trolley
29. Toddler looks at you and says "Jump!" 
30. Grab Toddler round the waist and ask them quietly to sit down in the seat
31. Toddler listens and sits down - says "seat belt?" 
32. Collect seat belt and put it back on - notice that it is broken (plastic is snapped in the clip where it wasn't before) 
33. Thank Toddler for sitting down when you asked them to and go back to looking for alternative for dinner
34. Settle on Gluten free chicken nuggets for self and Toddler, and regular Chicken cordon blur (however you spell it - I'm shattered and ready for my bed, spelling is the least of my worries at the moment) for Hubby and Trusty Grandpa
35. See Toddler trying to get out again
36. Put chicken boxes in the trolley and start talking to Toddler
37. Toddler grabbs zip of hoodie and unzips it saying "ZZZZZip"
38. Praise Toddler "Yes, Zip! Well Done"
39. Toddler then tries to pull down top and put hand into bra...
40. Step back and tell Toddler "Nope, there is nothing for you there" 
41. Toddler giggles and zips hoodie back up
42. Get to check out and wait inline
43. Toddler sees a box next to the check out with hot wheels cars in it
44. Toddler wants cars 
45. Consider that they would make a great stocking stuffer IF you can manage to get Toddler not to open them before getting home and IF you can get Toddler to forget that they were in the shopping
46. Decide to allow Toddler to pick two cars out of the box - Toddler happily picks the cars and puts them on the counter
47. Cashier helpfully puts the cars into separate bag for Toddler (think to self, that Toddler won't want to let the bag go now!)
48. Receipt is printed - Toddler grabs it and puts it into his bag with his cars
49. Pack the rest of the bags into the trolley and head back to car
50. Get to car and put the bags into the boot
51. Close boot and get ready to put Toddler into car
52. Toddler is upset - you didn't put HIS bag into the boot with the rest of them 
53. Smile and take Toddlers bag off him and put it into the boot
54. Lift Toddler out of the trolley and help him put it into the trolley bay
55. Open car door and let Toddler climb into the car by himself
56. Help Toddler buckle their seat belt and get into the drivers seat
57. Call Hubby and ask them to put the oven on, so it's ready to put dinner in as soon as we get home
58. Turn the car on, Toddler yells "MUM!"
59. Turn round and look at Toddler "What's up Buddy?"
60. Toddler points to own seat belt (haven't put it on yet, was just about to) "Seatbelt"
61. Smile and praise Toddler "Oh! Thank you for reminding me!" (Note: I don't forget to put my seatbelt on, I always wear it - I'm glad that he's learnt that it's a "must-do" when it comes to driving cars)
62. Get home, close the gates and let Toddler out of the car
63. Toddler runs right inside (forgetting about his "shopping bag"!)
64. Grab a handful of bag and walk them inside
65. Put most of them down and grab Toddlers shopping bag
66. Peek into the lounge and see Toddler talking to Trusty Grandpa
67. Sneak down into bedroom with Toddlers shopping bag and hide it in the Christmas stocking box
68. Smile to self and start cooking dinner

How To: be told by your Toddler how they hurt themselves

1. Start cooking dinner
2. Toddler comes up and asks for a hug
3. Pick Toddler up and show them what you are doing
4. Explain how things are going in the pot
5. Give them a tight squeeze and put them down
6. Toddler runs off into the lounge to play with toys
7. Continue cooking
8. Toddler comes in with your floppy summer hat on
9. Give Toddler hug and tell them how good they look in Mummy's hat
10. Toddler goes back into lounge to play with toys
11. Continue cooking
12. Toddler comes back in and starts "dancing" (his dancing is mainly spinning around)
13. Pick Toddler up and do a little dance with him 
14. Put Toddler down and ask him to go into the lounge with Trusty Grandpa
15. Toddler runs away towards lounge
16. Start getting ready to pour boiling water out of pasta pot
17. Hear Toddler cry
18. Turn round and open arms for a hug with Toddler
19. Ask Toddler "What happened? Can you show me?"
20. Toddler lets go and walks to corner of the kitchen and stands next to the shelves near the door to the lounge
21. Toddler slowly walks up to shelves and in slow motion spins around next to them demonstrating how the knocked their shoulder
22. Give Toddler another hug and say "Ouch! That would have hurt, well done for showing me!" 
23. Kiss Toddlers shoulder and feel very proud of this excellent exchange of communication
24. Finish cooking dinner

How To: Find a "Gift" from your Toddler...

1. Sit on the couch having breakfast
2. Toddler hides behind couch and plays with his cars
3. Toddler comes back and hands you his nappy 
4. Ask Toddler if they need to use the potty
5. Toddler shakes their head
6. Toddler points to nappy and says "Wees"
7. On closer inspection of nappy find that it does indeed have wees in it
8. Praise Toddler for letting you know
9. Quickly grab a pull up and put it on Toddler
10. Take Toddler to wash hands - wash own hands too
11. Finish breakfast and take dishes into the kitchen
12. Look out window and realise the guest you were expecting has turned up early 
13. Go find keys and walk to front door to unlock
14. Find a nice fist sized "gift" sitting on the rug between the back of the couch and front door
15. Pick up gift with toilet paper and flush down the toilet
16. Clean up spot where gift was (didn't leave any additional mess, but just incase)
17. Wonder how on earth Toddler managed to pass such a decent sized gift...
18. Open front door and welcome guest
19. Tell guest you need to change Toddlers nappy
20. Take Toddler to bedroom to check that area and clean it up better (was actually clean and haven't discovered any additional "gifts" anywhere since...)
21. Wash hands and Toddlers hands again for good measure
22. Offer guest coffee and sit down for a catch up

How To: Get a little weeding done in the garden with the Toddler

1. Play outside with the Toddler for a bit
2. Follow him on his bike around the front of the house
3. Watch Toddler for a bit and have a quick peek at the garden
4. Think about it for a sec on where to start
5. Decide to do a little bit of weeding 
6. Ask Trusty Grandpa to keep an eye on Toddler while you change (current clothes are NOT the type to do some weeding in)
7. Put on an old dark coloured t-shirt and jean shorts that were bought last Christmas
8. Notice that the jean shorts are very baggy and almost falling off
9. Happily note to self that new jean shorts for this summer will need to be bought
10. Go outside, grab gloves from the garage and put them on
11. Pick Toddler up (who has been drawing on the house with chalk with Trusty Grandpa's encouragement - brick house = lots of fun!)
12. Put Toddler and chalk into wheelbarrow and take them around the front of the house
13. Set wheelbarrow down and extract Toddler
14. Encourage Toddler to use chalk on driveway 
15. Toddler decides to use chalk on the fence instead
16. Shrug shoulders and start weeding front garden
17. Toddler runs around for a bit and comes over to "help" with the weeding
18. Point the grass/weeds out to Toddler to pull and continue weeding
19. Toddler squeals - he has found Mr. Darcy (the cat) 
20. Smile and laugh as the cat eludes Toddler and goes to hide in the lavender bush
21. Toddler spends next ten minutes looking for Mr. Darcy before giving up 
22. Toddler runs up to a swan plant and starts trying to pull it out
23. Be thankful that it is a large swan plant and tell Toddler to stop - as it is not a weed
24. Toddler leaves it alone and goes over to other side of the garden to inspect the neighbours new fence
25. Toddler picks up something off the ground - it's a used coffee cup
26. Call Toddler over and ask them to put it in the wheelbarrow (must have been left by the builders)
27. Toddler puts it into the wheelbarrow and goes to play with chalk again
28. Mentally sigh in relief that Toddler didn't try drinking from the cup and continue weeding
29. Toddler comes back and puts chalk into Mummy's pocket for safe keeping 
30. Toddler goes and grabs bike and rides round for a bit
31. Toddler rides up to lavender bush and finds Mr. Darcy
32. Toddler manages to catch Mr. Darcy this time
33. Stop weeding and save Mr. Darcy from Toddler
34. Toddler climbs into wheelbarrow and sits down 
35. Toddler points ahead and says "PUSH!" 
36. Stand up pick up the wheelbarrow handles and give Toddler a ride around the garden
37. Take Toddler out - dump weeds onto the garden rubbish heap and throw coffee cup into rubbish bin
38. Look at the sky and see that its about to rain
39. Put gloves away and wash hands
40. Bring in dry washing and coax Toddler back inside
41. Sit down for some afternoon tea with the Toddler and feel good about getting a little bit of gardening done while spending time with the Toddler :-)

How To: Pick a Flower

1. Toddler rides round on bike
2. Toddler rides bike up to lavender bush
3. Toddler picks a piece of lavender
4. Toddler gives flower to Mum " Here you go Mum, in hair"
5. Put flower in own hair
6. Toddler picks another flower - puts in his hair
7. Toddler says "Grandpa flower"
8. Toddler rides to another side of the lavender bush and picks a flower
9. "Flower stuck!"
10. Toddler pulls some more (grunting with the effort)
11. "Flower stuck Mum!"
12. Walk towards Toddler to help pick "stuck" flower (must be attached at the root)
13. Toddler still pulling when suddenly... 
14. Flower comes loose in Toddlers hand and Toddler flies backwards over his bike - landing on his tummy, facing the opposite direction!
15. Toddler lying on ground with his hands up in the air "Oh Dear! I'm ok, Alright" (crying a little in shock)
16. Try not to giggle and come to Toddler "Yes, you're ok - you're alright" 
17. Pick Toddler up and give a hug
18. Toddler hops back on bike and rides away (forgetting about Grandpa's flower)