How To: Tell a Toddler what they aren't

Most of the time, the easiest way to stop my boy from doing something naughty or silly - is to tell him what he is not. E.g. When he is chewing on something, like his shoe, your shoe or a piece of furniture (yes, this actually happens) I tell him "Don't do that. You are NOT a puppy dog" 

Here is a list of things I have told him that he is NOT (I will alter the list as more items become available and I remember them!)

1. You are NOT a puppy dog (chewing on the furniture)
2. You are NOT a piece of kindling (Toddler decided that it was a good idea to open the fireplace door and sit inside on the ledge - Thank God that he stays away from the thing in winter when we use it, but if he gets bored during summer - watch out!)
3. You are NOT a cat (stop eating the cat's food will you or lapping water up out of the cats bowl)
4. You are NOT a piece of rubbish (Get your head out of the rubbish bin - NO! Don't play with it! Put it back!!!!!)
5. You are NOT a moth (Stop eating your clothes! - Though I doubt this will really work, as I was one of those kids...)
6. You are NOT Sylvia Plath (Yes, he had his head in the oven, No it wasn't turned on)
7. You are NOT a stripper (as in "Stop dancing on the table, you are NOT a stripper")
8. You are NOT a piece of washing (he was in the laundry tub, we were trying to figure out how on earth he got into there as there was no steps and quite high - he managed to use the little handle on the cupboard door to hoist himself up)
9. You are NOT a nudist, this is NOT a nudist colony. (Yup, he refused to put some clothes on and today I decided not to fight him on it - so around the house Toddler is running probably thinking "FREEDOM!" I'll leave making him put clothes on for when we go out of the house...)
10. You are NOT a cat (This time, he emptied his raisins into the cat's food bowl and ate them out of there on all fours - naked)
11. You are NOT a cat (told him this to stop him from climbing the cat climbing towers at the pet store)
12. You are NOT a dog (again, at the pet store, him crawling into every dog kennel)