How To: Spend Boxing Day

1. Get woken up by Toddler at 3.30am
2. Manage to give Toddler a bottle and they sleep in their own bed until 5.30am
3. Toddler comes into our bed and wriggles around far a while until Daddy gets up
4. Tell Toddler Daddy is going to "Work" (not really, but only way to keep Toddler in bed for a little while longer... if he knew we would be playing trains today he would be upset that Daddy left before him)
5. Toddler says "Bye Bye Daddy, Go Work" sucks thumb and goes back to sleep
6. Manage to sleep until 7.30am
7. Get up and have breakfast
8. Get ready to go out - pack a picnic
9. Get in the car and make way to Toddler's surprise for the day - Ride on Trains
10. Get lost on the way to the place due to apple maps directing us to a gated community instead of a private farm that holds their own train track layout
11. Call Hubby (who's phone is going direct to voicemail due to limited reception where both parties are!)
12. Leave message
13. Pull out an actual map and locate the train place and drive there
14. Drive past entrance twice
15. Manage to drive in the entrance down a long driveway
16. Unload the car and stop Toddler from running down the hill as they would just fact plant due to the momentum 
17. Arrive at the train shed and Toddler sees a train further down the hill
18. Stop Toddler from running to the train - explain we need to see Daddy first and have lunch (also if let loose, Toddler had a bramble bush between him and the train)
19. Find Daddy and have lunch
20. Toddler goes for a little bit of walk around
21. Sit down and watch the trains
22. Hubby goes and acquires a train 
23. Daddy drives the train as we all go for a ride
24. Toddler likes what Daddy is doing and decides they want to drive the train too...
25. Daddy stops the train and I take control of Toddler
26. Finish the circuit of the track and go home
27. Get home and play with toys from Christmas
28. Daddy comes home a little later (he was in charge of a train, so had to pack it away etc)
29. Daddy sits down and takes off his shoes
30. Toddler says "Daddy's shoes! Daddy's Toes!"
31. Daddy says "Do you want to smell my Toes?"
32. Toddler gives Daddy a look that says "Really? Ok... if you insist"
33. Toddler then walks over to Daddy's feet, bends over and sniffs his toes
34. Crack up laughing, and Toddler grins and decides to sniff Grandpa's toes too
35. Spend rest of the night watching Toddler have their fun with ranging from sniffing toes and playing with their wooden train set 

How To: Sleep in on Christmas Day (When you have a Toddler)

1. Get woken up by Toddler at 4am (who wants a bottle)
2. Tell Toddler "Ok, you stay here in bed and I'll bring it to you" (as if that ever worked)
3. Crack up laughing as Toddler zooms out of his room and into the kitchen (going so fast that it can only be by the star power from his new pjs)
4. Follow Toddler into the kitchen and make up bottle
5. Toddler pops into the lounge and says Trusty Grandpa's Christmas Stocking that Santa left behind
6. Toddler says "WOW!" and goes to open the stocking
7. Give Toddler their bottle and tell them that the stocking is Grandpa's
8. Toddler puts stocking back and goes back to bed with bottle (doesn't even see the other three Christmas stockings!)
9. Wake up naturally at 8am, check on Toddler who is still asleep
10. Quickly get dressed and make first coffee of the day
11. Hear Toddler wake up and down coffee
12. Toddler zooms down the hallway and into the lounge
13. Toddler turns around and zooms back to Grandpa's room and says "Hi Grandpa!"
14. Toddler grabs Grandpa's hand and brings him into the lounge
15. Toddler points at Grandpa's Christmas Stocking and says "Happy Birthday Grandpa!"
16. Laugh and point out Toddler's stocking 
17. Toddler excited and puts on Santa Hat
18. Take a few photo's and a video of Toddler opening stocking and put camera away to actually LIVE the moment and not look at it through a lens 
19. Toddler plays with each and every piece from his stocking for about 20 minutes
20. Pack stocking fillings away and show Toddler the other presents under the tree
21. Toddler takes their time opening the presents and pays due attention to each new toy (so we are about to spread it out through out the day!)
22. Hubby makes a Christmas breakfast with Toddler helping, by sitting on his shoulders and supervising (Bacon, Eggs and Black Pudding on Toast - Plum Sauce too!) 
23. Sit down and eat breakfast, have second coffee of the day while enjoying watching Toddler play with their new toys
24. Trusty Grandpa debones a chicken to roast for Christmas Lunch
25. Get wrapped up in playing with Toddler and end up having Christmas Lunch for an early dinner

How To: Spend Christmas Eve

1. Bring out the Christmas eve box
2. Toddler inspects each item (New PJ's, The Night Before Christmas Book, Marshmallows, Hot chocolate and cookies and two DVDs)
3. Toddler wants to put the "Stars" PJ's on
4. Make Hot Chocolate
5. Sit down to watch The Polar Express and drink hot chocolate
6. While Toddler watching movie, make up Toddler's bed
7. Toddler comes and inspects what I am doing
8. Toddler waits for the bottom sheet and the pillow case to be on, grabs Monkey and hops into bed
9. Finish making bed with Toddler in it
10. Collect "The night before Christmas" and read to Toddler
11. Toddler falls asleep at end of book
12. Go back into lounge and finish watching The Polar Express
13. Finish wrapping the last of the presents
14. Set presents under the tree
15. Watch Love Actually
16. Help Santa with the stockings
17. Put Toddlers Christmas Book on the end of his bed ready for him to see when he wakes up
18. Go to bed and hope to not get up too early on Christmas day!

How To: Use your Imagination

Max has now reached the age that he uses his imagination during play heaps! So, anything that he uses his imagination for that I find amusing - or the different things he comes up with for one object I will list here for logging purposes and enjoyment :-)

Table and Chair set

I recently bought a table and chair set (one of those that you flip the table over and it can become a high chair also) and even though we've only had it for a short span of time, he has been obsessed with it! This list of if the many things he has used his chair and table set for:

1. Flipped the table over and used it as a piano
2. Sat with two pencils and used the table top as a drum
3. Lay under the table with his pocket knife tool kit and called out "I Fix!"
4. Flipped over the table and asked to have a blanket over the top of it, so he could use it as a fort (five minutes later, I caught him climbing on top of the blanket and told him not to do that as he could hurt himself. He gave me a cheeky monkey grin, went to sit on it and promptly fell through the blanket into the bottom of the table)
5. Flipped it over and tried to put the chair in the holes (I helped him, but it was upside down and not the hight of a high chair) He then pushed it up the other end of the hall, sat in the chair and said "Mum, PUSH!" While pointing down the hallway (of course I pushed him on it like a sled, he LOVED IT)

Cooking

This is beginning to become a problem and I believe I will soon have to find him his own oven as he has started opening up our oven and putting things in it!

• Pull out the pots and pans and I have found the following in the pots:
• A packet of peas
• A packet of corn
• Bread crumbs
• Rice
• I have found the following in the oven where he has said to me "I cook!"
• A muffin
• A Banana
• An Apple
• He also likes to make us tea. I've got him a tea set for Christmas that I hope he will enjoy!

How To: Tell a Toddler what they aren't

Most of the time, the easiest way to stop my boy from doing something naughty or silly - is to tell him what he is not. E.g. When he is chewing on something, like his shoe, your shoe or a piece of furniture (yes, this actually happens) I tell him "Don't do that. You are NOT a puppy dog" 

Here is a list of things I have told him that he is NOT (I will alter the list as more items become available and I remember them!)

1. You are NOT a puppy dog (chewing on the furniture)
2. You are NOT a piece of kindling (Toddler decided that it was a good idea to open the fireplace door and sit inside on the ledge - Thank God that he stays away from the thing in winter when we use it, but if he gets bored during summer - watch out!)
3. You are NOT a cat (stop eating the cat's food will you or lapping water up out of the cats bowl)
4. You are NOT a piece of rubbish (Get your head out of the rubbish bin - NO! Don't play with it! Put it back!!!!!)
5. You are NOT a moth (Stop eating your clothes! - Though I doubt this will really work, as I was one of those kids...)
6. You are NOT Sylvia Plath (Yes, he had his head in the oven, No it wasn't turned on)
7. You are NOT a stripper (as in "Stop dancing on the table, you are NOT a stripper")
8. You are NOT a piece of washing (he was in the laundry tub, we were trying to figure out how on earth he got into there as there was no steps and quite high - he managed to use the little handle on the cupboard door to hoist himself up)
9. You are NOT a nudist, this is NOT a nudist colony. (Yup, he refused to put some clothes on and today I decided not to fight him on it - so around the house Toddler is running probably thinking "FREEDOM!" I'll leave making him put clothes on for when we go out of the house...)
10. You are NOT a cat (This time, he emptied his raisins into the cat's food bowl and ate them out of there on all fours - naked)
11. You are NOT a cat (told him this to stop him from climbing the cat climbing towers at the pet store)
12. You are NOT a dog (again, at the pet store, him crawling into every dog kennel)

How To: Have a Toddler say sorry (without prompting!)

1. Get home from a long day out
2. Toddler wants a milk in his sippy cup
3. Pour milk into cup and give to Toddler (they take it into the lounge)
4. Pour own drink and follow Toddler, asking them if they want a biscuit
5. Find Toddler pouring half the milk from his sippy cup onto the carpet (it's one of those Avent learn to sip cups, you can't spill it unless you push the top down)
6. Take sippy cup off Toddler and put on bench
7. Tell Toddler off for being silly
8. Start to clean mess up
9. Give cloth to Toddler to finish cleaning up the mess
10. Toddler finishes cleaning and comes back and says "Sorry Mum" (first time he's ever said it without being asked to!)
11. Kneel down next to Toddler and tell them "Thank you so much for saying sorry, I am so proud of you" 
12. Give Toddler a hug
13. Sit down with Toddler, give them back their sippy cup and a biscuit for afternoon tea

How To: Feed a Toddler Breakfast

1. Toddler comes in at 7.30am (yay! mini sleep in)
2. Toddler pulls off sheets "Up Mum!"
3. Get up and realise that Trusty Grandpa is already up and having breakfast
4. Trusty Grandpa see's Toddler and puts more cereal into his own bowl (Toddler likes to sit on his knee and eat out of Grandpa's bowl even when he has his own breakfast)
5. Toddler doesn't want to do that today
6. Toddler picks up Monkey and takes himself back off to bed
7. Follow Toddler and find him all tucked up in bed sucking his thumb
8. Walk up to Toddler and check forehead - feels normal "You not feeling well bud?"
9. Toddler nods and says "Milk!"
10. Go and get some milk sorted for him, give to Toddler and say "Ok, when you're finished, Grandpa and I are out in the lounge, you can come out if you want to and I'll give you some breakfast"
11. Toddler spends about a half hour drinking milk and having a rest 
12. Toddler comes out and asks for breakfast (just sat down with own breakfast)
13. Get up and put cereal into a bowl for Toddler (Grandpa has finished his own breakfast by now)
14. Toddler sits down at his little table
15. Put bowl down for Toddler with spoon
16. Toddler eats a little bit and decides he wants some of my breakfast
17. Toddler pushes table out, which makes the bowl slide off the top
18. Amazingly - the bowl lands right way up, no spills!
19. Stand up to retrieve bowl
20. Toddler pushes table out more and it topples over
21. Table falls down onto of bowl - flipping it into the air
22. Give own breakfast to Toddler while cleaning up spilled cereal

How To: Use the 'Pay at Pump' feature

1. Pull up at the pump
2. Decide to use the "Pay at Pump" feature as you don't want to take Toddler inside (there is a long line) - And besides, Toddler likes to watch the numbers count up on the pump
3. Follow the instructions and enter that you want to put $20 worth or petrol into your car
4. After a while of standing there, begin to think "Hey, it's taking a while to put $20 in"
5. Look at the dollar value on the pump and see that it is at $47! (more then twice the amount you have budgeted for)
6. Instantly stop pouring petrol into the car and hang up nozzle
7. Look at the "Pay at Pump" screen and all it says is "Pay inside when finished fuelling"
8. Take Toddler out of the seat, hold their hand and walk inside to complain and pay for the petrol
9. Toddler loses their shoe and gets upset
10. Another customer picks it up and help me put it back on
11. Decide to use the money machine to check the money to confirm that card wasn't declined at the pump and it wasn't a banking issue that might have made it not work
12. Juggle Toddler, Keys and Wallet while using money machine
13. Confirm that it is not a "declined" issue
14. Walk up to the counter and stand in line behind four other people
15. Stand in line for a few minutes (that seems like an eternity for a Toddler)
16. Toddler see's all the goodies at his eye height 
17. Queue Toddler singing a song that consists of "Lollies, Ice Cream, Chocolate, Ice Blocks" 
18. Get to front of the line and sit Toddler on counter
19. Explain issue with pump and how you're not happy with the "Double the money" situation (while taking items on the counter out of Toddlers hands)
20. Pay for the petrol with a parting comment to the attendant "This close to Christmas is not cool, so many people are just trying to get by and don't have the spare money on a mess up like this"
21. Get into car and drive off
22. Call Hubby to make him aware about the extra money that has been spent (so that any purchases he makes, he is aware of the $27 less money we have)
23. Get home and write a lengthily email of complaint... that is more of a novel ending in an apology to the attendant for loosing my cool:

Hi There, 

At 9.22am this morning, (Saturday, 17th December 2016) I went to my usual Z petrol station to put $20 worth or petrol into my car. I am a constant customer at Z Takanini as they have pay at the pump facilities - which makes it easy to pay and fill the car up with no hassles (or so I had thought!)

I pulled up at the station, put my card into the pay at pump device - where I followed the instructions as usual. I lifted up the nozzle as instructed and began to fill the car up. After a while of standing there, I began to think "Hey, It's taking a while to put $20 in..." looked at the dollar value on the petrol dispenser and to my horror it was at $47.41!!!!!!! 

Naturally, I freaked out, as I was only expecting to spend the $20 that this weeks budget has allowed for. I instantly stopped the petrol from going into the car and then looked at the pay at pump device to see what the issue was. All it said was "pay inside when finished fuelling". 

I returned the nozzle to the dispenser, picked my Toddler up and walked with him inside to sort the issue out. Let me just point out here, that the main reason I prefer to pay at the pump is because I do not wish to stand in line with a Toddler (or leave him in the car while I go inside) Paying at the pump allows me to fill my car up and talk to my Toddler while doing so, and there is something special about how he enjoys watching the numbers on the petrol dispenser counting up - something magical about it. Anyway....

I went inside, (juggling my Toddler, keys and wallet) walked up to the money machine to confirm that it wasn't a problem from my end due to the bank. As I suspected, there was enough money in there to pay for the petrol. Now, this was no easy feat checking the money while holding onto a Toddler, who had also lost his shoe on the walk from the car to inside, so he was upset about that. (Luckily another customer picked it up for me) 

After confirming that, I walked up to stand in line (four people deep) naturally my Toddler got bored after a minute or two of waiting (for a Toddler, a minute is an eternity -try putting one in time out and you'll understand!) Because all the chocolate and ice cream and other such treats are at eye height for a Toddler and most children, (a brilliant marketing ploy, I assure you) They can't help but see them and of course want them, so while waiting in line, I got a sing song of words consisting of "Lollies, Chocolate, Ice Cream, Ice blocks!" 

Finally it was my turn at the counter. I went up and told them my predicament, because of the fact that by that stage I was trying to stop my Toddler from picking everything off the shelves (hence why I prefer to pay at the pump) I was having trouble explaining to them about the issue at the pump in a calm manner - yes I did have enough money in my account to pay for the $47.41. BUT this close to Christmas, and when you have already had year of tough budgeting that every CENT counts. Double the amount that you have budgeted for is unacceptable and upsetting. 

Of course I payed the money, and I got a receipt for it so I can try to salvage what's left of my budget. But this is a tough time of year for most people, and I ended up walking away in tears after telling the attendant who served me the problem. I was mainly crying because I was upset at how I had spoken, not only to the attendant, but also in front of my Son. However the double the money situation didn't help. I just hope that another person who is on a tighter budget then me doesn't have the same issue. 

No, I don't know what caused the pay at pump not to work, as I did everything as I usually do and followed the instructions to a T. But if you could please contact the manager and ensure that they can find out and fix the problem, so that no other person has the same issue I did - that would make my day. Also, on a side note if you could pass on my apologies to the attendant that served me, as she was just doing her job. I have worked in customer service in the past and know how one bad customer experience can put a damper on your day. 

Kindest Regards, 

How To: Use a Phone (Toddler Styles)

By showing your Mum that the way she used phones is SO old school!

1. Toddler runs up to me and says "Mum, Phone!"
2. Assume the phone shape with hand (thumb to ear, pinky finger to mouth)
3. Start pushing the buttons on the dial of the phone (like a standard landline phone from the 80's/90's)
4. Toddler smiles and holds his hand in front of his face (palm facing)
5. Start pushing buttons, on the palm of the hand (making clucking/clicking noises)
6. Put palm of your hand up to your ear and side of your face (like todays modern cellphones and cordless phones)
7. Begin talking

When in the car driving to see your Aunty and Poppa

1. Hold hand in front of face (palm facing)
2. Start pushing buttons, on the palm of the hand (making clucking/clicking noises)
3. Put palm of your hand up to your ear and side of your face 
4. Start talking on the phone
5. Spend entire car ride to destination telling Aunty and Poppa that you're on the way and explaining the sites you are seeing e.g. "Hi Poppa, going bridge now! See you soon!"

When your nappy is being changed

1. Lie down
2. Have nappy taken off
3. Mum cleans up the mess and gets out new nappy
4. Mum asks Toddler if they want to put the baby powder on
5. Toddler puts his forefinger up in front of face (as if to say "Wait)
6. Toddler uses his "palm phone" to call his people to ask if he should put some baby powder or cream on for this nappy change
7. Toddler says "Ok, Powder. Bye!"
8. Toddler hangs up palm phone and holds his hand out for the baby powder
9. Hand Toddler baby powder and watch in amusement at the look of concentration while he puts it on
10. Take baby powder off Toddler and put away
11. Put new nappy on

When you're being read a bedtime story by Heavenly Aunty

1. Heavenly Aunty reading Toddler a bedtime story
2. Halfway through, Toddler picks up play phone (old cellphone of Mum's)
3. Heavenly Aunty stops reading while Toddler having their conversation
4. Toddler finishes conversation, looks at Heavenly Aunty as if to say "Carry on Minion"
5. Get rest of story read by Heavenly Aunty

When you want to play with the Christmas Train, but Mum said no

1. Toddler climbs up on the table to get Christmas Train controller
2. Take controller off Toddler
3. Remind Toddler "You only play with the Christmas Train when Daddy is here"
4. Take Toddler off the table and put on the floor
5. Toddler takes out his palm phone and calls Daddy
6. Toddler says "Daddy, Train. Ah huh!"
7. Toddler hangs up his palm phone and says "Daddy said Train ok Mum"
8. Toddler then goes to get controller again
9. Tell Toddler "Nice try, but Daddy needs to be here when you play"
10. Get "Aw Nuts" back from Toddler 
11. Toddler goes and plays with his cars

How To: Have a weird and annoying morning

How To: Get a blood test

1. Get to labtest
2. Sit down next to random guy (do not talk to them)
3. Get called up for blood test
4. Have blood test
5. Start to walk out when random guy says "Hi"
6. Say "Hi" back while trying to walk out the door
7. Random guy says "Do you want to go out for a drink sometime?"
8. Reply "Thanks, but I am married"
9. Random guy smirks "Are you sure? You're not wearing a ring on your finger" 
10. Reply back "Well, that's only because I don't like to risk getting poo on it when I change my Toddlers nappy."
11. Random guy steps back "Woah! You have a kid?"
12. Smile and reply "Yes. and I am Married."
13. Random guy quickly makes his excuses on having to be somewhere and walks off, finally allowing me to walk out the door
14. Get into car, lock doors and leave

How To: Post a letter

1. Drive to post office 
2. Park car
3. Silly dude parks his car next to me at an angle (taking up three spaces)
4. Awkwardly open car door (not much space because of the way the dude is parked)
5. Post letter
6. Get back to car and squeeze back in
7. Drive off and head to petrol station

How To: Fill your car up

1. Drive to petrol station
2. Hop out of the car
3. Decide that because you're in a hurry, you'll use the "pay-a-pump" feature
4. Swipe card and start payment
5. Service attendant comes up and asks if you want any help
6. Smile and reply "No thanks, I'm fine" 
7. Attendant say "Do you have flybys? You can only get them inside"
8. Reassure attendant that you know this,  but because you're in a hurry you don't want to go inside (there is a line of 5 people in there already)
9. Attendant asks if you want your windows washed
10. Reply "No thanks, I'm fine"
11. Attendant then ask if you want them to fill the car up for you
12. Reply "No thanks, I'm fine"
13. Spot a mother with two kids in tow struggling
14. Point the mother out to attendant "How about you give her a hand?" 
15. Get a "No Ma'am, I'm already helping you"
16. Grit teeth "No thanks, I'm FINE"
17. Roll eyes and start to walk to the mother to offer a hand
18. Another attendant walks up and helps the mother with her petrol
19. Walk back and look at attendant who then picks up petrol hose and starts to fill up my car
20. Stand there with arms crossed feeling awkward as the attendant fills the car up (cannot go and sit down in car as attendant is blocking the way)
21. Car is now fill
22. Attendant hangs up hose and wishes a good day
23. Stand there watching attendant in annoyance as it took TWICE as long to get the car filled up and might as well have gone inside and got the flybuys points, but it is too late now. GRRRRRRR

How To: Play with the Christmas Train around the tree

1. Toddler climbs up on table and tries to collect the controller for the Christmas train
2. Ask Toddler to get down
3. Remind Toddler they have to ask Daddy nicely if they can play with the train
4. Toddler runs up to Daddy and cups his hands around his mouth "TRAIN! TRAIN! TRAAAAAIIIIINNNNNNN! Please?" 
5. Daddy smiles and says yes, you need to get the grey controller
6. Tell Toddler that they need to get the controller that is the same colour as their grey shirt
7. Toddler gets the blue controller off the table
8. Take blue controller off Toddler and hold both that and the grey one up
9. Ask Toddler what controller is the same colour as their shirt
10. Toddler points to the blue one "That one"
11. Tell Toddler the blue one is broken
12. Toddler thinks for a bit and then points at the grey controller "That one, Use"
13. Laugh and give to Toddler to use
14. Toddler take controller and plugs everything in (with help from Mum and Dad)
15. Toddler watches with WIDE eyes as the train goes round and round the Christmas tree shouting "Train! Look! Train!"

How To: Decorate the Christmas Tree with a Toddler

1. Hubby sets up tree while Toddler having their lunch
2. Help Hubby bring decorations down from the loft
3. Decide on Red and gold decorations for the theme (as from next year onwards for a while there will be no chance of a theme!)
4. Toddler is released from their high chair
5. Toddler picks up "apple" Christmas decoration and takes a bite out of it
6. Take remainder of decoration off Toddler and throw away
7. Continue decorating tree
8. Toddler pulls down  one decoration for every two you put up
9. Toddler wants to play with the train track (there is on surrounding the tree)
10. Hubby pulls out Thomas, Annie and Clarabelle and turns it on for Toddler
11. Toddler has a go at driving Thomas
12. Hubby turns Thomas off and puts away after a good play
13. Toddler decides to crawl under the tree and pop up behind it
14. Toddler starts batting at the Christmas decorations (who needs a cat!)
15. Remove Toddler from behind the tree and tell them to leave the decorations alone
16. Repeat steps  8-15 until Christmas tree is taken down

How To: Wash the car with the Toddler's "Help"

1. Decide to wash the car (as it is a very sunny hot day)
2. Dress Toddler in their togs
3. Pull out their tub and turn on their little hose for them to fill
4. Got get the big hose and turn on
5. Use big hose to rinse the dirt off both cars (decide to wash Trusty Grandpa's car too)
6. Decide that while hose is on, might as well rinse the slide and playground to get off any bird poo
7. Watch Toddler filling up tub
8. Rinse cars some more and attach cleaning brush to hose
9. Look back at Toddler to catch them walking toward the back door...
10. Run to the tap and turn it off
11. Walk back up to Toddler and find that they have stuck the hose through the car door
12. Tell Toddler they don't need to put water inside
13. Remove the hose and open the door
14. Find a decent sized puddle  just in the door way
15. Mop up puddle and put towel down so don't slip on the semi wet floor
16. Leave back door open to help dry up the floor
17. Wash cars while Toddler plays with his water
18. Keep eye on Toddler and catch them with their watering can trying to water the towel in the doorway
19. Get bucket and brush and fill with carwash solution
20. To Toddlers joy, forget to change the setting on the hose before filling up the bucket
21. BUBBLES everywhere 
22. Watch as Toddler plays with the bubbles
23. Uses remainder of bubbles to wash rest of cars
24. Rinse the cars and go inside for lunch

How To: Take a Toddler Christmas Shopping

1. Look for a present at the garden centre
2. Before going in, go to get pram out of boot and find out that the pram is not there
3. Go get Toddler out of the car
4. Tell Toddler "Now, we are going to go into the garden centre and find something for a christmas present, you can help me find it" 
5. Discribe item to Toddler and ask them to hold hands
6. Get to the garden centre door and see that there are many things at Toddlers eye height 
7. Stop Toddler and say "Hand in your pocket please"
8. Toddler puts their hand in their pocket (and still holds on to my hand)
9. Go in and look around garden centre - find what we want, but not exactly what we are looking for
10. Leave garden centre and tell Toddler how proud I am for how well they held my hand and put their other hand in their pocket
11. Hop back into car and tell Toddler we're now going to get Daddy's Christmas Present from him, then we'll need to buy rubbish bags from mitre 10 (Toddler excited about this as there is a playground at mitre 10)
12. Go into shop and buy Hubby's present 
13. Walk back to car to put present in boot
14. Toddler puts present on head on the walk there and then puts it in the boot themselves
15. Close boot and walk to mitre 10
16. Toddler wants to go in through the trade door (near where the wood is sold)
17. Walk in trade door and while there price doweling (Need to get some for Toddler's Tent that Wonderful Granny made for his Christmas Present - I forgot the measurements didn't I?)
18. Toddler spots a Toddler Trolley
19. Toddler lets go of hand and gets trolley
20. Hold onto the parent handle of trolley to help steer 
21. Toddler wants to go through garden centre part of mitre 10 to get to the playground (the long way round)
22. Toddler pushes trolley up and around all of the garden centre
23. Toddler gets to the playground and parks the trolley
24. Toddler jumps into the ride on train and plays on the for a little bit
25. More kids go into the playground
26. Toddler follows the kids around
27. Sit and watch Toddler play follow the leader with the other kids
28. Toddler has had enough and wants to go home
29. Remind Toddler we need to get some rubbish bags
30. Toddler nods and grabs to trolley
31. Walk along (more like follow) next to Toddler
32. Toddler Decides to go down all the aisles between us and the checkouts
33. Toddler on a mission
34. Follow along with Toddler
35. Toddler stops in the cleaning aisle (brooms, mops etc)
36. Toddler stands in front of the brush and shovel sets (all the colours of the rainbow!)
37. Toddler puts on hand on hip and other on his chin
38. Toddler looks at the brush and shovel sets and goes "Hmmmm, that one"
39. Toddler picks the YELLOW set and puts into his trolley
40. Toddler says "Come on Mum!" 
41. Follow Toddler through the rest of the store watching as he tries to get things off the shelf and put into his Trolley this included: Bath mats, Dehumidifiers, brochures, boxes and even the plugs of the kitchen sink displays (I'm sure he would have tried taking the kitchen sink if they weren't attached to the wall!)
42. Go to the check out and pay for items
43. Help Toddler put Trolley back and go home

How To: Get a Toddler to wear sandals

1. Toddler loses favourite pair jandals for a week
2. Put Toddler in gumboots or let them go barefoot
3. Today - too hot for gumboots, but need Toddler to walk
4. Toddler falls asleep for an afternoon nap
5. Find a pair of sandals that Toddler has refused to wear previously
6. Put said sandals on while Toddler sleeping
7. Transfer Toddler to the car
8. While out, Toddler walking for a fair bit and walking funny as sandals are a different fit than what they are used to (also they are half asleep)
9. By end of the outing, Toddler is used to the weight and fit of sandals
10. Get home, put shopping away
11. Find favourite pair of jandals hidden in the pantry (in the potato bin of all places!)

How To: Take Toddler to their first Playgroup Christmas Party

1. Get ready for playgroup
2. Toddler lost their jandles 
3. Decide to put Toddler in gumboots instead
4. Get to playgroup - first lot of people there
5. Find out that it's a surprise Christmas party for all the kids
6. Offer to help while Toddler is on playground
7. Put up lots of Baloons
8. Find out that there will be a face painter, magician and Santa later
9. Keep an eye on Toddler
10. Other kids turn up
11. Have a chat with a few Mums and caregivers
12. Face painter turns up
13. Sit in line with Toddler watching the face painting
14. Toddler gets bored and goes off to play (we're next in line)
15. Watch Toddler play for a bit and when the line for face painting goes down, take Toddler back
16. Toddler waits for a bit then gets bored again
17. Magician turns up (it's a clown magician with a suitcase as his magic bag etc)
18. Toddler sits down and watches for a bit
19. Toddler gets bored
20. Toddler goes into Magicians Magic Suitcase
21. Toddler starts throwing items from suitcase over the back of his shoulders
22. Poor Clown Magician trying to collect items and do the show at the same time
23. I manage to finally navigate my way between all the little people between me and Toddler
24. Help collect the magical items and put away
25. Take Toddler by hand and take them back to the face painting station (no one in line now as all trying to watch the magic show)
26. Face painter decides to make Toddler a pirate
27. Toddler wiggling too much so they only manage to do a mo and a scull and cross bones on the face
28. Toddler tries to eat paint brush while mo is being painted on
29. Toddler licks off half of his mo before paint can dry
30. Toddler then runs back up to the clown magician (who is doing a slight of hand trick)
31. Clown Magician makes a squishy ball in his hands disappear, he then asks the kids where it went
32. Toddler runs up to the Clown Magician and reaches into his back pocket "Here you goes" (yes, he really pulled the squishy ball out of his back pocket and gave it back to the clown magician!)
33. Clown Magician states "Well, I haven't had that before! Thank you sausage!"
34. Other kids are laughing and tell the Clown Magician "He's not a SAUSAGE!"
35. Max says "Bye!" and goes back onto the playground leaving the poor Clown Magician to do his bit (Found out later that his name was "Popcorn the Clown")
36. After a while of playing and Popcorn the Clown going home, there is a shared lunch
37. Toddler goes inside and plays with the toys and piano in there
38. Santa turns up ("Santa" is a very young lean guy with a pillow stuffed down his front - that really looks wrong when he sits down)
39. Toddler so engrossed in playing the piano, doesn't even notice Santa at all
40. Santa sits down, has each child on his lap and hands out presents
41. I go over to Toddler when the line to Santa is almost finished and ask them "Do you want to get a present from Santa?"
42. Toddler gets down off the piano and walks round the corner to where all the other kids are sitting down in front of Santa opening and playing with their presents
43. Toddler stands there looking at all the kids presents with WIDE eyes
44. Toddler looks at me and says "WOW! Presents Mum!" 
45. I point to Santa and say "Go up to Santa, I'm sure he has a present for you too" 
46. Toddler walks up to Santa and stands next to him with hands behind his back
47. Santa says "Oh Hello! Do you want to sit on my lap and tell me what you want for Christmas" 
48. Santa reaches for Toddler to pick him up
49. Toddler steps back
50. Santa puts down his hands and says to Toddler "Ok, that's fine. You don't have to sit on my lap, but would you like a present?" 
51. Toddler stands there and looks behind Santa's chair for the present
52. As Toddler is doing that, Santa gets the present out of the present sack
53. Toddler looks back at Santa with wide eyes "THANK YOU!" 
54. Santa hands present to Toddler
55. Toddler won't take the present
56. I end up taking the present and giving it to Toddler "Thank you! Mum, go home now?" 
57. Tell Toddler we can and we head home with Toddler holding un-opened present in his hands
58. On the drive home hear Toddler say "WOW! Mum look!"
59. Pull over and look at Toddler
60. Toddler has opened his present - it's a cool set of fire fighter vehicles! (exactly the type of thing he loves to play with)
61. Get home and spend rest of afternoon watching Toddler play with his new toys