How To: Dress a Toddler

1. Ask Toddler to get dressed for the day
2. Toddler selects clothes
3. Toddler changes mind
4. Toddler refuses to put nappy on
5. Toddler says "Undies!"
6. Let Toddler choose undies
7. Get Toddler out of PJ pants and into undies
8. Hold red pants Toddler selected up for them to step into
9. Toddler changes mind again
10. Toddler fetches dirty  "Thomas" jeans out of washing basket to put on
11. Decide that they aren't too dirty for them to wear again...
12. Hold jeans up for Toddler to step into
13. Toddler refuses to put jeans on and plays with PJ buttons instead
14. Toddler plays with "Twink" (a soft toy from Rainbow Bright, which is actually the character "IQ" but I used to call him "Twink")
15. Toddler uses Twink to point to animal hanging quilt
16. Toddler names animals and makes their sounds
17. Toddler plays with nappy bin
18. Stop Toddler from playing with nappy bin
19. Toddler points to undies and says "Undies" 
20. Praise Toddler for using the right word
21. Stop Toddler from playing with nappy bin
22. Toddler starts counting
23. Toddler farts mid-count and thinks it's the funniest thing ever
24. Toddler plays with latch board
25. Toddler reads some books
26. Toddler then sits on knee and you read them "Tigger's Breakfast"
27. Get PJ top off Toddler
28. Take Toddler to Toilet
29. Put wet undies into wash
30. Get new undies while Toddler goes to see Grandpa
31. Hear "Do you mind not doing that?" 
32. Come back to Toddler and Grandpa, ask what Toddler did
33. Get told Toddler farted on Grandpa
34. Put fresh undies on Toddler
35. Tell Toddler to put his pants on
36. Toddler screams "NO!" and runs away
37. Follow Toddler with clothes 
38. Find them in the lounge on Grandpa's chair rocking away with toy car in hands
39. Take toy car off Toddler and use to bribe to put pants on
40. Fail
41. Toddler wants potty book
42. Use potty book to bribe to put pants on
43. Fail
44. Decide to use the "Hand and Foot" Method (Put hand through bottom of pants, grab Toddlers foot and put pants on that way - like you would with a baby)
45. Succeed with Toddler saying "Foot Stuck!" the whole time
46. Pants are on
47. Sit down to gain energy for the next round
48. After a ten minute break, next round begins
49. Put Toddlers shirt on over head
50. Toddler lays down on toys
51. Put Toddler's arms though holes
52. Toddler says "Arm Stuck!" the whole time
53. Shirt is on
54. Toddler rolls away and leans on Arabic speaking and singing keys
55. Toddler picks up toy to play with it
56. Toddler gets up and goes to fridge
57. Toddler gets out "Max Milk"
58. Help Toddler pour milk into cup
59. Ask Toddler to put on Cookie Monster jumper
60. Succeed
61. Toddler dressed for the day
62. Go back to Toddlers room and clean up all the clothes.